Haruna's Most EroEro Adventure
by AckSed
Summary: What was Haruna doing before she was found by Ala Alba? How could she afford to buy an airship? And can she be stopped?
1. Prologue

**Haruna's Most Ero-ero Adventure**

_"Never give the monkey the key to the banana plantation"_  
**Mustrum Ridicully**

Prologue

There are some things you must never do, for they will destroy innocence and generally cause chaos.

Give condoms to an eight-year-old and explain why they're needed.

Tell a classroom of tweens that if you rub it, it will stay like that forever.

Equip a yaoi fangirl of dubious morals with a powerful, infinitely flexible magical artifact, then strand her in the middle of the Magical World with no money.

Oh dear.

That last one?

It happened.


	2. Chapter 1: Possibilities

Chapter 1 - Possibilities

Haruna awoke groggily. She'd been having a lovely dream where she flew right into a bed made of monogrammed shirts with Death-sensei and Despair-sensei, and she had infinite paper and pens while they played hide-the-daikon. Then it got a bit strange near the end, when they held her down and started feeding her grass and dirt... wait, grass and dirt _was_ in her mouth. She was lying face-down in a field with her mouth open.

"Pfagh! Haarrgh! Ptui!", she spat.

Her body felt stiff and achey as she got to her feet. Why had she decided to take a nap on the bare ground? And where was she?

Recollections rushed in.

_"...chaos, sheer chaos. Dangerously large rocks were flying round her and her friends, broken loose from the arrival platform's surface and the stone circle by the impact of Fate's pillars. It had looked like Negi-sensei was winning, but it seemed they'd lost the war. Asuna-san, looking faintly ridiculous in a frilly dress, was swinging at the pillars that had yet to fall with her B*ster Sword, dispelling one with every wave. Haruna, even amongst the terror, felt a bit of envy._

_Then events became a bit crowded. A magical circle appeared underneath her feet when the Fate boy shattered one of the monoliths. Light flooded the ruined platform. It seemed to have no source, yet it quickly grew to unbearable intensity._

_Squinting, she heard Negi shout, "Everyone gather here! Hold-" before the roof blew up. Wind whipped up from nowhere. Some of her friends were half-yelling, half-screaming – she might have been too. Haruna felt her feet leave the ground. She couldn't see anyone through the light._

_The last thing she was aware of before the light swallowed her whole was Negi shouting to Asuna – or was it the other way round? – "Grab my hand!""_

Looking around, there was no sign of the magnificent city she had beheld from the terrace of the terminal. Where the hell were all the flying whales and soaring arches? There was nothing but rough rock walls, grass and some strange prickly bushes with yellow flowers near her. The sun was setting – as far as she could tell, it had been morning when they arrived. That indicated she had been out for a while, or had been teleported east of Megalosembria. Probably both.

The ground dipped away in counterpart to the mountain range that rose gently in the middle distance, but it didn't look remotely familiar. She could hear running water. That suggested 'river', and the gently descending countryside suggested 'valley'.

Walking out of the little copse she'd landed in, she could see some buildings in a bend of the river – a fair-sized town!

Well, she thought glumly, at least I won't die of thirst while I'm walking there.

As far as she could tell, none of her friends had been teleported with her.

She wasn't worried about Setsuna or any of the fighters in the group, but Yue, Konoka or Nodoka weren't really made for fighting. Not to mention the four completely unmagical and _unprepared_ stowaways...

Haruna's imagination helpfully supplied all sorts of unpleasant scenarios for the Negi-tachi. Captured by bandits. Eaten by dragons. _Molested by male land-octopus in heat_. Her permanent smirk unbent somewhat.

Quickly, she took out her mobile phone – no signal. Not that she expected to find any.

She remembered her Pactio card, and pressed it against her forehead like Negi had said.

"_Telepathia!_" It sparkled briefly, then nothing.

"_Telepathia!_", she repeated. Still nothing.

All lines of communication, it seemed, were cut.

She was disconnected, abandoned & alone in a strange world, where Japanese probably wasn't spoken. Worse still, no money. Her mouth nearly straightened out.

Then a thought that had been waving for attention since the fog of gloom dropped decided to pop a signal flare.

She was... free.

She was free! Free to do anything she desired, with no repercussions! No teachers, no parents, no classmates, no authority figures of any kind.

Certainly – she thought – no way for anything she did to reach the ears of said persons.

A smile that would have creeped out the Cheshire Cat spread across Haruna's face.

"YEEEEESSSSS! FREEEEDOOOOM!"

She did a little dance of triumph, temporarily forgetting the rules of her own stories and letting out a liberating "HAHAHAHAHAAA!" that echoed off the hills.

Oh, the others would be fine. _She_ was alive and unharmed, wasn't she? In any case, this Fate character had said they weren't interested in them. She had an untapped market here!*

It is frightening to be free. In Haruna's case, that fear was going to happen to other people.

*If you were wondering why she was brushing off her dear friends' dilemmas, Haruna was currently overcome by visions of more money than she knew what to do with, as well as unlimited possibilities for perversion, eclipsing her somewhat tarnished good side. This is a common complaint.

* * *

Next: Our Heroine outlines her plans to... am I reading this right?... TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

"_**OF COURSE!**_"

Ow, my ears. Haruna, get back to your story!

"Sorry, couldn't resist! Hehehehe..."

And take that hat and uniform off!

"Aww, but red's totally my colour. Fine, fine."

Ack! Not here!

"Hahahaha! Oh, your _face_. Haha..."

Haruna, if you don't behave yourself, I'll write you into a story where you have to babysit Chizuru's 'demon' children.

"...I'll be good."


	3. Chapter 2: Exploration

Chapter 2 - Exploration

Haruna had been quite, quite frustrated back in her own world.

Past attempts to get a part-time job to get some extra spending money had been rejected by her parents with a, 'Wait till you're older'.

She was _plenty_ old enough, she grumped. Attempts to use Asuna as an example of an earning schoolgirl had backfired when approval was given only for a paper round, or counting traffic. Counting _traffic_? She'd be a vegetable by the end of the first day.

Manga was a good outlet, artistically, but there were too few opportunities to sell! Submitting to the anthologies had just produced polite refusals. She had sold a few ecchi doujin at Comiket under her pen-name, blessing her early development for letting her pass as sixteen.

Dear Mama and Papa would have disowned her if they had known she was anonymously drawing male-on-male tentacle mpreg for the university circle.

Tasteful, mind. She wasn't that depraved. _Octo-love Man!_ was high art compared to some.

But now, she could BE Comiket. Knowing human beings, it'd take a week at most for the money to start rolling in.

First order of business would be planning. The timescale would be a problem – assuming the deadline for returning was the end of her holidays, she had half a month, maybe less, before she was found. She might have to rethink world domination. Maybe _half_ the Magical World. A quarter, at least.

With luck, she could make a substantial fortune and forge enough connections to tide her over till winter holidays, when she could come back and corner the other half.

"Thus begins the reign of Paru-sama, independent businesswoman!", she announced to the empty landscape.

"Adeat!" Sketching up a quick tent, light and sleeping bag* (noting her artifact still worked), she set up camp in the copse and took stock.

The sum total of her possessions was pretty slim. The clothes she was wearing, a cloak, pens, paper, a packed lunch and a change of clothes. Then again, it wasn't like she couldn't just create the items she needed.

Haruna started exploring that. She'd mostly focused upon summoning fighter golems to oppose Ku Fei, dabbling in cloning other people (if only she'd been allowed to complete that Ero Nodoka! What potential!) and enhancing traits.

Now... she hunkered down and let her imagination flow through the pen.

For the next hour or so, a succession of very strange forms appeared outside the tent in the gathering gloom. Winged figures as tall as a house yet ethereal as mist (Haruna was experimenting with the shading). Classmates with 'extras'. Kotarou and Negi [CENSORED] their [CENSORED].

The tableaus grew more perverted and complex. A baseball-team's-worth of naked women, with wands and cucumbers. Impossibly beautiful humanoids locked in positions that would have made the most jaded Japanese porn star tilt their head. What seemed to be Cthulu and Nyarlathotep, performing acts with their pseudopods we can't describe in a sane story.

Beside it all, a young lady drew with increasing urgency, only stopping to dab at her bleeding nose and, finally, disappear inside the tent for some minutes.

Haruna lay down in the tent afterwards and reflected. Oh, Kami! This opportunity was even more golden than she'd thought – her plan for a "one-woman publishing house" was woefully limited. There _were_ no limits! True, the little flying creatures she'd drawn to test range lost coherence and direction when they flew more than a mile away. That was minor – it just meant she'd have to stay close-ish to her creations. The limited lifespan would almost be an advantage for the kind of show she'd be putting on.

She didn't even have to colour the drawings – the pad seemed to pick out the colouring from her mind as it sprang forth. Though she hadn't expected the baby blue Old One; then again, Nyarlathotep was _totally_ an _uke_.**

The new plan was simple, way simpler than it was originally. Scout the town and find the right district to set up. Reel them in with free service on the first day, then start gougin- *cough* charging enough to set herself up. If she happened to gain some influential clients along the way, all the better.

Her thoughts turned towards practical matters as she ate, undressed and climbed into her sleeping bag. Whatever else it could do, her artifact couldn't make food (even cup ramen had failed). Survival depended on the 'opening night'; the town down there was an unknown. She knew she'd have to make an impression, one flamboyant enough to be recalled throughout the generations.**** And she had a plan for _that_, oh yes.

The part that had worried about Nodoka and the others reminded her that, should she have the time, she could ask a traveller or check a newspaper to see what had happened to the Negi-tachi; Haruna made a grudging mental note as sleep claimed her.

*Haruna's artifact was a sketchpad that let her animate her drawings. Small or simple inanimate objects could be maintained indefinitely.

**What, really?***

***Yah, Ryleh.

****The dangers of becoming known throughout the land when at least one authority figure hailed from Mundus Magicus hadn't occurred to her yet.

Next: Our pervy Heroine gets a nasty surprise when she-

"Oi, oi, oi, what's this?"

What's your trouble?

"I thought I was free to do anything. "Take over the world!", that's what we've been telling everyone,right? So what's with the 'nasty surprise'?"

I told you. Without trials and _divers alarums_, readers start shouting, "Mary Sue!". And, lest we forget, you're a 14-year-old girl in a strange land. We have to have some scene-setting gawping and ogling.

"Ogling?"

One word: catboys.

"I'll let you get on with it. :-D"


	4. Chapter 3: Debut

Chapter 3 - Debut

Haruna woke at the crack of dawn and struck camp, as she considered how best to approach the town. She'd decided last night it'd be safest to scout the town with a few golems beforehand, but getting close enough to operate them without being seen was another matter. Given what had happened, and what she intended to do, a little paranoia felt like a reasonable precaution.

Peeking out of the copse in the morning sun revealed birds singing in the distance, sheeplike herbivores flapping their wings and a couple of square miles of beautiful, lush, close-cropped and, incidentally, coverless grassland between her hiding place and the city walls. The yellow-flowered bushes must have been cleared away by farmers.

A telescope showed her the wide paved road that followed the coast. Sweeping it round showed the single gate it led to, and the city guards patrolling it and the wall.

The river valley she'd glimpsed had the same gently rolling character as the rest of the countryside, so it wasn't deep enough to travel through without being spotted.

"Bugger. It's a shame I can't turn invisibl- just a minute." Last night's 'party' had kind of distracted her away from the point of her experiments, so the manga girl hadn't tried _absolutely_ everything. Could she really make something that powerful?

"Oh man, I've got to try it!"

*sketch*

*scribble*

*describe*

*shade*

"Come forth, _Orbis ne Evidens_!"

A plain gold ring appeared out of the pad, then plunked on the ground. Haruna reached for it with trembly fingers. Looking around – though no-one could see her – she closed her eyes and put it on.

Had it worked? She didn't feel any different... except she could now see the countryside around her, and hadn't opened her eyes yet! Shocked, she opened them wide, changing the view not a bit. Looking at her hands and feet – at least, where she could feel them – revealed the truth. She was invisible! Her flesh and her clothes had vanished; turning her back to the sun showed her her lack of shadow. 'Good thing I specified being able to see', she thought, 'otherwise I'd be blind right now.' The only indication that someone was standing there at all was a vague heat haze as the light travelled through her body, and two faint footprints in the earth.

"COOOOL! I'm the Invisible Girl! Oh, I'm so going to peek in the boy's locker room when we get back. Wonder if this is what it's like for Sayo-chan? ...wonder if she's ever peeked... no, no, concentrate. Approach city, scout and get food first. Ghost-sex doujins later."

Her glasses had disappeared along with the rest of her however, so things in the distance were fuzzy. It wasn't like she was severely short-sighted, but spotting a guard would be hard.

Something was disturbing her about her field of vision, but she couldn't figure out what. That was it – her nose. There was no nose at the bottom of her sight. Reaching for her bag, she was further surprised when it disappeared as soon as she touched it. "It extends to other objects – double cool!"

Thinking there was no time like the present, she swung it up over her shoulder and set off down the hill.

* * *

The sun rose higher in the sky as Haruna hiked towards the city wall, following the river. The city seemed to be taking its time getting closer, and she was hungry and starting to sweat because of the cloak.

*hahh* *hahh* 'Suck it up, Haruna! It's just a bit... *hahh* of walking!', she thought, panting. 'Maybe a quick rest to cool off...'

She collapsed on the ground. "Phwoo!" Wiping the sweat off, she took the pack off, leaned back and lay down, arms flopping to her side.

The ring chose that exact moment to vanish in a puff of smoke. The Invisible Girl was invisible no more.

There was a short, stunned pause, the kind occupied by the realisation that you've outdone yourself with this specific lapse of concentration, and the consequences are going to be a _bitch_.

'AHHH whatdoIdowhatdoIdo? How long ago did I make the ring? I can't draw another ring before they see me. This is all I've got time for!'

She had no idea if she'd been spotted, but remained lying on the ground. She quickly took her pad from her belt and drew a square with a grass pattern, keeping as low as possible to the ground. The improvised camouflage blanket popped out, and she quickly drew it over herself. She noticed in an abstracted kind of way that the pattern seemed to be changing to match the ground.

Haruna stayed as still as possible, positive the guards could hear her heart hammering across the downs. Birds sang. Winged sheep went _muhrrr_. But she could hear no shout of alarm or anger coming up the hill. She turned herself round under the blanket so her head was pointing at the city, rolled onto her belly and peeked out. The guards hadn't moved from their positions. She was safe – for now.

Her heart stopped trying to jump out of her throat and she allowed herself to breathe again.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid...' How could she forget something that basic? There was a further flush of shame for overreacting like that. It wasn't as if she was a criminal – not yet, anyway. Even if she had been seen and the guards had come for her, it wouldn't have affected her plans much, as she could have passed herself off as some kind of idiot shepherd's daughter.

Now that she thought about it, that story would have worked if she'd gone down openly. Honesty was fine, but stupidity was a better defence.

All the same, they might not have bought that if she'd popped into existence in the middle of a field.

She'd been tickled about sneaking in completely unseen, grabbing a quick breakfast and strolling out for her big entrance, but it seemed like the original plan was back on. It'd just require a few modifications.

She lay under the stuffy blanket, baking as she plotted (the irony of _that_ wasn't lost on her either).

'Dammit, how can I get down there before my invisibility runs out again?'

The wheels turned in her mind till she remembered something.

'Those wings I made for Asuna back home! If I gave them the same attributes as the ring, I could be invisible and fly! Uggh, they didn't last very long – maybe it's because they weren't realistic enough? My artifact must produce things with a set amount of 'reality' – the more I bend the laws of physics, the shorter the lifespan*.'

'If I made a thing that could fly with little or no magic, made another ring and kept my hand on it, it'd turn invisible, same as my pack, and it'd last for about the same time.'

She racked her brains for flying machines. 'No, too weird... No, too complicated – ah! That one. Why didn't I think of it before? I was at that ComiFest where they showed it.'** Still lying down, she got some normal pen and paper out of her bag and sketched it as best she remembered.

'...I'm going to need a bigger blanket.'

* * *

Underneath the increased area of camouflage, Haruna drew two objects. The first was a copy of the invisibility ring. She wouldn't put it on till the last minute and this time she'd keep an eye on the clock. The second...

The second drawing looked like nothing more than a seagull. But seagulls didn't have handles or harnesses. She took extra care to make it accurate, adding what details she remembered from the story as she went.

When the shading was finished, the specifications written down and the artist herself as close to the leeward edge of the blanket as possible to give it room, they were ready to be summoned. There was a chance the blanket could slip off and expose her, so the ring would come first.

"Come forth, _Orbis ne Evidens_!" She grabbed it, but did not put it on – she wasn't sure if the blanket would disappear at her touch and didn't want to test it.

Now for the big one.

"Come forth, _Mehve_!"

The blanket swelled as if a small mountain range was growing underneath it. The shape of the famous glider became apparent in a few seconds.

"Whoa." She shook herself. 'Get a hold of yourself, girl. You don't know if it'll fly yet.'

Crawling forward, she tied her pack to one of the twin swimming-pool rails that formed the handles then donned the ring, turning invisible.

Quickly, she touched the handle; the glider vanished from sight.

Keeping one hand on the glider, she stood up and tugged and pulled at the blanket (which also disappeared when she touched it) till she could no longer feel it on the wing or handles.

Barely five minutes had passed. Haruna had estimated that the limit of invisibility would be at least 30 minutes, which would give her enough time to fly over to the city and survey it from the air before landing. Assuming she could fly it and wouldn't just crash it into the wall. Assuming that the engine would even work.

She grabbed the rails and buckled herself into the harness. There hadn't been any controls on the display model at the exhibition, so she'd added twin joysticks.

Cautiously, she twisted the left grip for the vertical jets. The hum of the engine surprised and relieved her; the jets hissed like a million snakes as she upped the thrust and slowly, delicately lifted off the ground. Her grin threatened to take the top of her head off.

"Hahahaha! Oh boy, my karma must be seriously overdrawn right now."

She twisted the right grip for forward thrust ever so gently... and shot off like a deflating balloon.

"SHIIIIIiiiiii-"

The curse faded into the distance.

* * *

The guard at the gate of the city of Taoyuan was unnerved, and a bit annoyed, which made him even more uneasy. An hour ago, a small hill had just appeared in the distance. He'd lived here all his life and hills didn't just _appear_. They didn't disappear soon after, either. Straight after that, he'd heard a noise like a dragon in heat, then like one roaring. Strangest of all, a young girl's scream, which had seemed to be getting closer very quickly though he couldn't see a thing.

All of a sudden, the dragon had stopped roaring and the scream tailed off over the city, to be replaced by silence. He'd relaxed a bit. It was regrettable about the girl, but what could he do against a dragon? Later on – he couldn't quite believe it – hesitant, then hearty laughter. He'd never heard of invisible dragons, but improbable as that sounded, no victim of a dragon attack ever burst out laughing ten minutes _after_ they started screaming. Thoroughly freaked out, he'd been jumping at passing butterflies for the past half hour before the dragon suddenly started hissing again round the curve of the city wall. It intensified into a whine, then a thump as of something heavy hitting the ground.

He tightened his grip on his spear and wondered how he could report an invisible dragon on the prowl without sounding insane.

* * *

Haruna rested against the wall under the cover of one of her camo blankets, rubbing her bruises. What a ride!

She'd nearly overshot the city before she released her death grip on the thruster; the sight of the sparkling ocean beneath had shocked her into letting go. Experimenting with the joysticks proved that the thing could steer, if she was careful about it, and she'd banked roughly towards the city.

It had been an exhilarating sensation – gliding invisibly above a honest-to-Kami fantasy city was like a dream. Literally. She'd started laughing out of sheer delight, which seemed to spook a couple of the bigger-eared people in the markets.

Which brought her to the big discovery. There weren't just humans here. There were animal people. Dog-men, giants, dolphin-men, lizard-men and – whisper it quietly – cat-boys and cat-girls of all stripes. Even the humans seemed to sport genuine cat ears and a tail more often than not. She hadn't been able to help herself: "EEEE!"

(One of the dolphin-men in the market she'd been flying over turned to his mate and asked if she'd said something.)

With time ticking away and her still at roughly the height of the Tokyo Tower, she'd completed a final swoop of the town and looked for a place to land near the wall.

As a wise man once said, any landing you walk away from is a success. By that standard, hers was superlative, as nothing was broken.

She could definitely have done better, though.

Swooping down around the north-east wall, she'd leaned back and hit the vertical jets to scrub her speed and (she imagined) drift gently down to the ground like a kite. What she'd accomplished was to almost completely stall, flip 270 degrees and drop like a falcon straight into the ground.

There hadn't been time to scream, just time to lean back once more and apply full vertical thrust to pull out of the dive before the crash – then the skids dug into the turf and she flipped once, twice, three times more before she came to rest upside down.

"Uuugh." Her body hadn't wanted to move, and someone had filled her head with marshmallow, but she'd fumbled with the buckles on the harness till she fell on the ground between the handles.

'Ohh, they're roll bars as well as handles. Clever. Haha.'

The rational bit that was still active had shouted at her to get moving before someone came to look, or would the future ruler of the world care to explain her plans to the guards, and she'd dragged herself towards the base of the wall.

The glider had been fully visible, so she'd had to "Abeat!" to get rid of it, then "Adeat!" so she could sketch up a blanket. Exhaustedly pulling it up over herself and leaning back on the hard stone wall, she'd mumbled to herself, "Why the hell did I specify Harrier jump jet power?"

* * *

Haruna grumbled as she felt for all her bruises. Her ribs were the worst, but she had a bump on her head the size of a hen's egg, and there was a nasty one on her shoulder. 'Ow. OW. Next time I wear a helmet. No, next time I make a machine that doesn't crash!'

She'd sent out her invisible Fuuka-clone ninja (take one (1) small classmate, give her skills of larger ninja classmate then give her invisibility ring) to steal her some food. The thought of stealing more had crossed her mind, but petty theft was boring. It was much, much more satisfying when they begged you to take their money in return for something of yours. Besides, she wasn't sure what the medicines of this world looked like, if they used them at all.

"Hi Haruna!"

"WAHH! Shh, keep it down." whispered Haruna, half to herself. "Where are you?"

"In front of you." the Fuuka clone whispered back. "Got your food."

"Did you find me something to drink too?"

"Yep!"

"Come under the tent and unload, but hug the wall and take the ring off first. Were you followed?"

"No. The guard at the gate seemed nervous but I slipped by under a cart.", said the now visible clone, clambering under the blanket, made into a lean-to tent with two (conjured) sticks. She unloaded her haul into Haruna's lap and sat beside her.

"Fruit, apple, no idea, potato, loaf of bread, dried meat, another loaf, a... thing, water YES!" Haruna pulled the cork off the flask and drank greedily. Her throat was bone dry as she hadn't had time to get to the stream, what with all the walking, flying, screaming and hiding.

This day was not one of her best. All right, she'd had some amazing experiences, but they'd been punctuated with pain and panic, and neither of her plans had worked perfectly, almost as if someone was trying to keep things 'fair'. If she ever met this hypothetical balancer of fates, she was going to have _words_.

Having drained the flask and eaten the apple and loaf, she packed the rest away, took out more paper and handed it to Fuuka.

"Fuuka, now for the other part of the mission. Try to recall what you saw. I want the general layout of the city, then residential areas, spaces in the market, number of catboys- I mean competitors, number of bars and anything else you can think of."

The clone's resultant sketch showed a city like a squashed yin-yang on top of a leaf; streets branched out like veins from the central road that entered the city and ran on to the end like a stalk, while the river sinuously wound its way through the centre on its way to the sea. A bazaar with a spire in the lower left for one of the 'dots' lay to the west, butting up against the gate, and a large mansion in the upper right of the residential district to the east occupied the other 'dot'.

A smattering of bars and taverns speckled the market as it blended into the solid buildings that clustered nearer the river. There didn't seem to be enough of the little cocktail glass symbols to challenge what she had to offer, but who knew what was represented by the cute little tents on the map? There was also a clear area where she could set up – bonus!

"There was a strange thing, though", Fuuka-clone piped up. "I saw a TV-"

"A TV? Here in the magical world?"

"Mm hm, it was hovering in the air in front of that spire fountain thing. Four of them. And it had Negi-sensei breaking a big stone in a stone circle and advising people to keep an eye out for him, as he is wanted by the authorities for destroying the gate. It also posted a bounty of 300,000 drachma."

"You could understand them? Well that's a relief – wait, Negi-sensei? Authorities? As in, criminal? That's _not_ a relief!" The concern for her friends that had been hovering in the background took centre stage. "Why would he be fram- ? Never mind, I think I answered my own question. That Fate must be a sore winner."

A treacherous part of her began to plan a way to turn him in, until she reminded herself that they might execute serious criminals here. "Was there anything about the rest of the class?"

"The next clip was of a lot of the people from 3-A with bounties too. It mentioned that all the known terrorists have had a blanket bounty placed on their heads, as they arrived in a group."

"Was I on the list?"

"'Fraid so, Paru-san."

There went the plan to cash Negi in; she was a target as well and so was everyone else.

"Oh fuku.*** ...what was my bounty?"

"Fifteen thousand, same as everyone else's. Well, Asuna-san, Setsuna-san and Kaede-sempai's were higher."

Haruna felt irrationally slighted. Here she was, super-powerful, able to spar with any martial artist with impunity (Kuu Fei was an exception, as she kept telling herself. And Evangeline. And Kaede... and Setsuna. Her class was an exception, her class), and she was considered to be the same threat level as her bookworm friends?

Her friends! Not only were they lost and abandoned, they'd be targeted by bounty hunters, thieves and scoundrels looking for a quick buck too; Haruna actually frowned as she considered the group's situation.

There was no way to find out where everyone had been transported to, so that made contacting them impossible; she doubted the city would have a TV studio for a newscast. Everyone had received basic survival training at Eva's resort, so it was unlikely that they were dead yet... Haruna clamped down on that line of thought. Negi-sensei must be going frantic with worry. Wherever he was.

'Damn you, Fate. Why'd you have to make it serious?'

The Negi-tachi were beyond her help at the moment. When resources were available, she'd start building the contacts to find and collect them; right now all she could do was hope they survive and wait to be found herself.

"Were Ako, Makie, Yuna or Akira mentioned?"

"No, Paru-san."

That was something at least. Small mercy, though.

"Time's up!", the clone interrupted. Haruna shook off the gloominess. Back to business.

"Is it time already?" Haruna had instructed it to tell her when it was likely to lose coherence – timers were better than memory, but getting the golem to say when was best of all. "Great job, Fuuka! Be a shame to see you go."

"Aw, thanks, Paru-san! Tell my original what a help I was, 'kay?"

"I will, don't worry!"

'Though I'm going to have to twist the truth a little to keep Negi's secret', she thought. 'I'll say she helped me in spirit.'

"Fuuka, task completed!"

With that, the Fuuka golem slowly lost its fine features like a Barbie doll in an oven. Eyes flattened into coloured circles, fingers melted back into the arms, hair clumped into plasticky spikes and limbs lost their bends. It lifted its noodly appendage in farewell, popped like a clay balloon and vanished.

Haruna felt a bit sad at losing her companion, but consoled herself with the thought that tonight was her gala performance. If was lucky, she might have a minion or two to call her own by the end.

She began planning the scenario on the back of the city map. Her smile reappeared, then slowly grew wider as she worked. An occasional chuckle escaped. When finished, she examined her work.

"Haruna, my girl – you are awesome!", she told herself, grinning harder than ever.

* * *

It was coming to the end of the day guard's shift. The guard at the gate had had enough weirdness to last a lifetime. He'd signed up for a steady job that paid well and required little effort – all he had to do was stand at the city gate, evict a few disgruntled merchants and filter out the most disreputable-looking elements. Gave him time to think.

He had needed it today. After stewing for an hour or two, and doubting his own sanity further when he'd felt a whack of rushing air going towards the dip in the road, he'd called the sergeant with his Telepathia link and described the situation. He held back from mentioning his dragon theory, but couldn't help mentioning the "D" word in his account.

The sarge had asked if he was feeling all right.

The guard had replied that no, he was not all right, as there was a bloody great big invisible dragon on the prowl that had flown over his head not an hour ago, adding that it might do to take a look around outside the city.

Mistake.

The sarge had angrily told him that the invisible dragon joke was so old, its scales had hair. Did he think she was a wet-behind-the-ears private? Why didn't he ask her to fetch some wand tuners while he was at it?

She cut the link while he was still apologising, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

The sun was setting, shadows were lengthening and he was ready to go to bed and forget this day had ever happened, soon as his relief from the night watch came.

Then the music started.

It was a strange tune, catchy yet sultry****. His sensitive ears caught the words floating across from the road as a bizarre contraption that was part wagon, part organ and part marquee rolled into sight over the crest of the hill, towed by four burly lion-men singing.

_You can't define Paru's Pleasures_  
_Without sampling the wares at our stall_  
_If you don't see what you require_  
_Just ask and you'll have it all_

_We've got boys and girls of all shapes_  
_And sizes. Beauties beyond compare_  
_Bring me a picture of what you desire_  
_People are never prepared!_

_Saaa...tiiiis...faaa...ctiooon..._

"...guaarrraaanteeeeed!"

This last was sung by the human woman riding on the cart, who was wearing an elaborate half-face mask, long black hair with two 'antennae' sticking out, a heavy travelling dress and a permanent grin.

The cart closed on the city and seemed set to roll straight past him. There was no way he was going to let her – mischief was written all over her. Plus the voice sounded familiar.

"Halt!", he called, holding his spear across her path. If it trembled a little, that was just because he was tired, and nothing to do with dragons or laughing. Nothing.

"Whoa, boys, whoa", said the woman, pulling at the cart's brake. The cart crunched to a stop on the gravel before it touched the all-stopping spear. The music halted.

"State your name and the purpose of-"

"My _name_ is Paru the Great, and my purpose is to introduce a little Old World culture to your city this evening! As our song implies, our business is pleasure! Isn't that right, boys?"

The lion-men "yes ma'am"ed and nodded.

Haruna (for it was she) swung herself off the running board and swept up to the guard. He bent down to talk to her, as she was a full head-and-a-half shorter... and saw right down her cleavage. He froze as his eyes met hers – caught in the act.

'Mental note: corset plus boobs equals bargaining tool', thought Haruna.

"Pleased to meet you too." She looked him frankly up and down. "What a fine young specimen of a tiger-man. How would you like to be my first customer?"

"...um, miss..."

"You see, everyone's got a fantasy that they carry with them and I can't help wondering what yours could be. So many possibilities... Missed opportunities, unrequited loves, the girl next door..." – Haruna drew close enough to touch, and started walking her fingers up his bare chest, then running her fingers through the striped fur – "...fetishes...".

The guard, now quite confused, started to protest. "Miss er- Paru, I really must ask to see some identification..."

"I didn't catch your name", she said, gazing up into his eyes. She was laying the flirtatiousness on as thickly as she dared. Fortunately it seemed to be working.

"D- Denton, Constable Izley Denton, but- "

"You see Izley, we were caught in a flash flood and lost everything, including our documents. We are quite tired and hungry and want to enter your city so as to earn our living and soothe our aching bellies. If you could see your way to letting us in, I would be" – she squished her generous breasts into his lower body, making sure he could still see down – "_personally_ grateful."

He gulped. This woman was so blatant, but that grin promised a hell of a lot. The Old World – he'd heard stories in the barracks and, looking at her, could believe them. Still, he hesitated.

Haruna went for the kill. "Oh, I am just one woman travelling with a meagre retinue. What harm could it cause? I promise I'll behave myself.***** Besides, if you didn't, you'd always wonder what you could have had." As I conjured up an Eva and threatened you with a 60-metre war robot, she added silently. Not that she would (it would blow her cover), but it was fun to imagine him cowering and kissing her feet.

"I suppose...

Caught. Hook, line...

"...I could let you in. Were you, uh, serious in your *ahem* proposal?"

...and sinker. "Why of course I was, sweetie. Come here."

Haruna craned her neck upward, angling her head as if for a kiss... Izley, unable to believe his luck, bent down to meet her lips... and felt a slip of paper being pressed into his hand.

She pulled back and away with a wicked laugh. "There! You get a free pass! I don't give those out to just anyone, you know!" Another laugh. She walked back to the cart, deliberately swaying her hips.

All true. The stories were all true.

Izley asked after her weakly, "Did you see or hear anything dragon-like this afternoon, Miss Paru?"

"Dragon-like?"

"You... might not have been able to see it."

"It was hiding?"

"Er... invisible."

"Izley, you kidder! There's no such thing!"

'Dragons are real! Cool- I mean, crap. I must have been heard when I flew over the city.'

"Uh... yes, that's what I thought."

"Could you walk me in? I'm afraid I don't know this city and I need to know where to set up.", she asked, playing up the role of the naive visitor.

"Sorry Miss Paru, I can't leave my post till sundown. There is usually space in the bazaar – just pitch your tent there. Don't mention my name."

He stood aside. The cart rolled past under the arch of the gate and into the city.

Izley read the piece of paper in his hand:

_**PARU'S PLEASURES**_

_FULL FANTASY PASS_

_The bearer of this pass is entitled to the fulfilment of any one fantasy scenario for the duration of one hour._

_Paru the Great reserves the right to improve or modify said scenario._

Izley's mind went blank – whether with terror or anticipation, he couldn't say. Any fantasy?

* * *

* I know, I know – it's not scientific at all. But she believes it, and thus her artifact will work that way. Authors like it when their characters impose limits upon themselves.

** solarbird DOT livejournal DOT com SLASH 545653 DOT html

*** Haruna had heard English swear words on 2ch once, but was a bit shaky on the pronunciation.

**** Think Rhapsody in Blue crossed with porn music.

***** If she'd been connected to a lie detector, it would have blown up at this point.

Next: Business picks up-

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!"

Er, hi Paru. Mind the language, will you?

"I will NOT F***ING B***ARDING – censoring? That's **it**. HASTUR HASTUR H-

STOP! Fine, I'll hear you out.

"Where does it say that my backstory needs a PLANE CRASH?"

Since I started writing it. That IS what you approached me with, isn't it? You wanted a bigger role, wanted character development, so you agreed to let me wordsmith this expanded adventure for you 'cause you wanted to live it. That means I get to imagine the fun stuff you do, try to make it fun for you too and you get... surprised occasionally.

"A plane crash is a _surprise_? I nearly broke my neck! You are out of your little warped mind!"

Maybe, but who else would have let you go invisible, with all the exciting new possibilities that entails? Fly a jet-powered glider? Get a potential tiger-man boytoy? An invincible heroine isn't an interesting one. A heroine who forges ahead and has fun despite the setbacks that befall her – that's interesting.

"..._baka tare_. I'm still waiting for an apology."

I wasn't aware I had anything to apologise for, when you okayed it...

"RAAGH!"

-okay, okay. I'm sorry I scared you (though it was a valuable lesson) and I promise not to endanger your life again-

"Good."

-too many times.

"What."


	5. Chapter 4: Première

Author's note: Writing this was like pulling teeth (OCs, world-building and exposition, oh my!). If this chapter ends a bit abruptly or is lower in quality, it's because I had to cut it short before I actively started to hate it. On the plus side, I now know what not to do.

Chapter 4 – Première

Haruna rolled agape into the activity of Taoyuan's evening rush. So far, her views of the Magical World had been rushed or fleeting – her flyby hadn't prepared her for the cacophony of sounds and smells. Lizard beasts barking and hissing in their stables, spices and dust and dung, humanoids growling, squeaking, hissing, purring, and the busy babbleroar of what seemed like half the population of Mahora setting up or changing shift in the bazaar. Grocers, provisioners, two-bit mages hawking charms, livestock auctioneers, second-hand blade merchants, dealers in trinkets and gewgaws all shouting their wares added to the din.

Surveying the stalls was an education in strangeness.

Slave traders: "Gladiators, medics, maids – Fiverings' has them!"

Apothecaries: "Sale on jujube root; demon rats hate it!"

Treasure-hunter supplies: "Trap-detecting grappling hooks! No mangled limbs or your money back!"

One tent in particular advertised itself as "Pahadeen's Pleasure Palace – massages with a personal touch". A cat-eared lady was untying the tentflaps. Damn, there was competition (and they'd sorta stolen her name). The Fuuka-clone had disappeared before it could tell her about it, though it was marked on the map with a simple circle.

Haruna bit her thumbnail; making herself stand out from this crowd would be very tricky. If it was too flashy, she might be caught by the guard or run out of the city. Too mundane, and it would take too long. Still, it was a sign this town was at least willing to tolerate such business.

She steered the cart onto the lane that led towards the spire, filing away all the varied species and how they moved in her artist's memory. Her hands itched for a pen to draw this scene. That was the trouble with her artifact – it wasn't permanent. If she wished for a piece of paper, it'd be gone the next time she unsummoned.

A bigger problem was having to redraw her golems from scratch every single time. It took so long! Her speed was going up with all the practice, though.

There was the clearing, to the left of the spire. "'Kay boys, pull over there and help me unload. We've got a tent to pitch." She parked the cart next to it and pulled the brake.

She'd been tempted to tweak the dimensions to make it bigger on the inside when she'd been putting this whole masquerade together in that dip, but it would have disappeared like all the other non-mundane things. The marquee they took out was really just a tent, made up from rich purple and wine red canvas that stood out from the dusty tan or deep brown of the rest. Once that had been erected, the lion-men also took out a folding bed and placed it inside.

A few curious bystanders stopped to watch, as did her stall neighbours.

Last were two signs, one hung on the crossbar of the tent, the other in front. Haruna felt a burn of satisfaction/anticipation at the sight of 'Paru's Pleasures' atop the tent. This was really, truly happening!

"Limiter Released! Ha HA- *hrrmahem*"

No. No evil laughter yet. It'd jinx her, no matter how good it felt. 'Polite, pleasant and professional is the watchword, my girl. Besides, it'd scare the customers away.' The people nearby were staring a little.

The lion-men were nearly out of time by her reckoning, so she called them into the tent. Beings disappearing might or might not be common round here; best to do them out of sight.

She'd figured out a workaround for the problem of all-or-nothing summoning – write into the spec at creation an instruction to disappear at a command. "Return to nothing, Karu, Ken, Kosa, Kuro!". The lion-men vanished, leaving nothing but a faint haze.

Haruna loitered by the door for a bit, but soon grew impatient. The Great Paru-sama could not be seen to wait! People weren't likely to beat a path to her door when they didn't know she existed – handing out pamphlets and one or two more 'free samples' would spark the city's interest. She quickly scribbled out some suitably effusive leaflets on her dwindling stock of paper that said little but hinted at much more.

'Now if this were an RPG, how would it go?'

_You want to go looking for potential customers. Where should you start?__  
Wait by your tent some more._ ('Boring!')_  
The Bazaar – close by and lots of people._ ('Makes sense.')_  
The public houses – more likely to find people wanting 'massages'._ ('Richer clients, I suppose.')

Choose wisely!

She mused for a bit. 'I have to leave something to mind the tent. With the time limit, it's got to be..."  
_The Bazaar_

Haruna conjured her Aniki fighter and set him to guard the the tent while she went a-wandering. The evening rush had faded away to merely busy by this time. Dusk had fallen; strings of lights hung from poles, shedding a warm orange light over the bazaar that brightened as the light failed. She caught sight of some white-robed figures moving through the alleys with long staffs that glowed at one end. Touching one of the lights with a staff lit a whole row at once. A magical lamplighting guild! She wondered why they didn't just send a magic charge through the whole thing at once, but had to admit it was atmospheric.  
Heading into the maze of stalls, she struck gold almost at once. The others had doubted her ability, but her nose never failed to detect the characteristic smell of a human in love. The scent of burnt almonds led her to a depressed-looking human man presiding over a stack of brass pots.

"Good evening, friend!"

"Yes, miss, what can I do you for?"

"I couldn't help but notice you seem down."

"'Course I'm down. I've been here all day, starving to death, and I sent my assistant to get me a snack." Haruna noticed the oily paper bag in his hand. "Look! Burnt to a crisp!" She peeked inside the bag he was brandishing at her. It contained a mixture of badly-roasted nuts, including – yes – some scorched almonds.

"Ehhehe..."

"I tell you miss, never send a crocodile-man to get you food, they don't have a nose for anything beyond meat. Why the hell did I ask for nuts... reminds me of the time I asked my wife for fish sauce... nearly sick that day..."

He looked up from his recollections. "...but never mind me. Want to..."

"Miss?"

Haruna was a couple of stalls away, having fled as soon as his attention was diverted.

"I guess the nose is out", she muttered. "Hell with it, I'll just pick some moderately attractive people at random – I'll probably have more luck!"

Off she went, keeping out of sight of Boring-san.

The first leaflet went to a tabby-haired catgirl browsing a fabric stall. Her ears flicked as she read it, jingling the little bell earring she wore (Haruna very nearly squeed out loud) and suddenly pricked up as she finished. 'Chance!', thought the manga girl.

"What kind of 'services' do you offer?", she asked Haruna. ""Anything you want in an hour?" Kind of vague, nya?"

The young girl applied her Professional Saleswoman grin (no. 3, conspiratorial). "It's vague because I couldn't get away with it otherwise, if you know what I mean. I stand by the promise – think of it, and I'll fulfil it!"

"So if I asked for, say, wings, you'd give them to me?"

"No problem. Anything... or any_one_... you want."

"Really?"

"Really."

"You smell a bit too young for that. Won't you get in trouble?"

"I'm a lot older than I look – or smell – ma'am", lied Haruna. "Father always wanted me to make a living as soon as I was of age, and he was very supportive when I discovered my artifact. Plus I lived on a farm with four big brothers; it's nothing I haven't seen before." No sense in letting a backstory go unembellished.

Tail flicking a little, the catgirl said, "I don't know-" She seemed to be wavering. Haruna decided to tip the scales.

"Here." She handed her one of the free passes. "I'm the purple tent next to the spire."

"You're just giving it to me?"

"I can tell you're going to get a lot out of it. And I like your ea- face. Kuhkuhkuh." It was half-covered by the mask, but the catgirl had never seen a human girl leer like that. It dispelled some doubts and introduced a few more ("improve or modify" was suddenly giving her pause). Could it be real?

"I- I'll think about it."

"Of course. Remember!", called Haruna, walking off. "It's only valid for tonight!"

She left the catgirl rereading the leaflet as she went in search of the next customer.

She spotted a young blonde man walking along, looking the very picture of boredom while his sister chatted with her friends. From what she could tell, he looked fairly well-off.

Smoothly, she sidled up to him, keeping just out of sight, then stuffed a leaflet into his hand, ducked behind a fish stall and peeked out. The boy looked confusedly around for the mysterious deliverer (good, she hadn't been seen), then unfolded the flyer.

The sister noticed her brother had stopped and she and her friends leaned in to read it.

She could tell he had reached the end because the brother suddenly folded up the leaflet and walked off in the direction of her tent, with the girls pestering him to have a look and, incidentally, following behind.

Haruna rubbed her hands with glee. 'That's one, two, three... six! Oh, I am awesome. ...crap, I'd better be there to meet them!' She hurried off.

* * *

Upon arriving at her tent, the guard Izley was already there, self-consciously pretending to browse the wares of the stall opposite.

His back was towards her. Wrongfoot, always wrongfoot. She snuck up (upwind of him) until she stood about two feet away, then:

"Izley, dear! So glad you could come!"

"WRRAAHH!"

He whirled around, eyes sweeping wildly round for a second before looking down and spotting Haruna.

"Uh- er- erm- well. Hello, Miss Paru. I- I was just passing, you know..." It was kind of cute seeing him try to act nonchalant.

"Aww, don't be that way. We're friends, aren't we?" Haruna glanced in the direction she'd come and saw a group of people approaching. She latched on to his arm and half-dragged him towards her stall.

"Aniki, vanish!", whispered Haruna to the guard, which walked inside the tent to disappear in privacy. She relinquished her iron grip on Izley, who stumbled to a stop beside her, more nervous than ever at the sight of the six or seven potential witnesses now gathered outside the tent. He didn't recognise them, but did they know about him?

"Welcome, one and all, to Paru's Pleasures!", she announced. "I am Paru-sama, or Paru to my friends, and I aim to introduce you to some Old World exotica, right here in... oh, where are we, Izley?"

Everyone in the little crowd turned to look at him. "Uhh, Taoyuan, Miss Paru." That was it – he was doomed. He was in normal clothes, but he was still doomed. If this went south, the sarge would assume he'd been her accomplice from the start. Why couldn't he have stayed away? Right, he wasn't thinking with his _brain_.

"Some of you might be wondering, 'Can this woman really deliver anything?' and I have to admit I have one or two rules: I have the right to refuse; no killing or stuff like that, and nothing that'd take more than an hour to complete. Other than that, yes, with my unique magic I CAN give you anything, fulfil ANY fantasy in complete secrecy... and all for the low, low price of ten thousand drachma each." There was some muttering among the crowd at that, though the boy who was clutching her leaflet was already reaching for his pocket. One of the girls grabbed his arm-

"Joon, what are you doing?", she whispered.

"Come on, Jan, aren't you curious?"

"No brother of mine is going to spend his money on such an obvious hoax!"

- and Haruna decided crowd-control tactics were in order. She needed to make a good impression. It went against the business model, but-

"However, for tonight, I'll give everyone here half off, AND a refund if they're not satisfied. Good enough?"

That seemed to quell them a little, but they didn't seem convinced. Maybe a demonstration was in order.

"All right, I can see you're not going to take me at my word. Watch this!" Remembering something the catgirl had said, she sketched something on her magical pad.

"Come forth, _Angelus Penna_!" Out came a set of sparkling wings for herself which attached themselves to her back, levitating till she was around head height. Haruna laughed at their faces as she flapped gently around the spire before rocketing up as if she'd been fired from a bow, then coming down just as fast and righting herself near the ground with a somersault, eliciting an "oooh!" from the crowd as she landed (gently this time).

"_Angelus Penna_, cease." The wings disappeared in a cloud of glitter.

"Now do you believe me?", she said to the agog crowd.

The boy twisted his arm out of his sister's grip, delved for his money and strode over to Haruna, leaving his sister looking mortally offended.

"I'll be your first customer!"

Haruna looked him over. He was fairly handsome close up – half a head taller than she, that short blonde hair, quite toned and wearing a sort of blue sleeveless jerkin that matched his eyes. Cool seme type, she decided. "Good man. Anyone else?"

One of the girls began digging in their money bag.

"Melda?", said Jan.

"I just want to see... it's only 5,000...", she replied. The girl walked over to join Joon.

She was quite short, with a too-wide smile, dark skin, watery green eyes and long, stringy hair. Probably was the shy sort with an active imagination. Haruna was reminded briefly of Nodoka, then dismissed it – Nodoka was far cuter.

"Welcome, my dear!" She took Imelda's and Joon's money, tucked it into her bodice and pushed them and Izley into the tent. "Just wait inside. You too, Izley."

She addressed the crowd outside, which had swelled somewhat after her flying stunt. "Now, this is going to take a while but you're welcome to ask questions of the participants and myself when they emerge. In the meantime, please amuse yourselves. We will!"

She left them murmuring, rumours already flying as she ducked inside.

The noise of the crowd was quickly muffled as she tied the tent flaps and turned to face the trio. Melda was slightly flushed, eyes averted, fingers seeking each other out and tangling together in her embarrassment. Joon was staring eagerly at her, eyes drifting down to her boobs in the process. Boys.

Izley – Izley's expression morphed from 'shock' to 'pissed off' as the gears turned in his head. Uh oh. Haruna had hoped he hadn't heard how* she came to be here. She addressed all three, gambling that he had enough self control not to explode and expose her outright.

"You've already seen what I can create, which may forestall some questions and create... others", she said, glancing significantly at Izley. "But I'll answer by demonstration."

Haruna flipped back the pages of her artifact till she found the rough sketch of the scenario made when she'd been refining the plan back in the hollow. Her experiments earlier showed that as long as drawings weren't completed beyond sketches, the pad acted like normal paper and would not summon what she drew. Which meant that she could lay the groundwork for a spectacular summoning.

The scene took further shape under her pen, outlines colouring automatically as she shaded, emphasised and fleshed out. After about a minute of lightning sketching it was finished. Haruna wrote the instructions in minuscule script in the tiny strip of unmarked paper she'd left under the picture and – "Come forth, _Templum Regis_!" – the edges of the picture began to glow. In the manner of someone trying to find the corner of a sticker, she lifted the image right off the page and placed it on one of the tent walls.

The image warped and expanded crazily in the blink of an eye to fill the whole side, but it wasn't finished yet. With a noise like light glinting off a blade, it sprung into full, impossibly clear detail... almost as if it was... real? Diffused light – daylight – illuminated the inside of the tent.

Despite her nervousness, Haruna couldn't quite keep the smug grin off her face.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you – the main hall of the Kiyo Mizu Temple."

With gasps and sheer slack-jawed incredulity from the others, she stepped into the picture.

Her footsteps echoed on the temple's stage as she walked nonchalantly around, beaming for the benefit of her audience. It didn't feel any different, but she wondered how it worked – was she a flat picture on the side of the tent or did it truly act like a portal to another place? Well, she'd always ignored Iincho's accusations that she didn't have any depth as a character before, why should she start now?

"Come on in, the painting's fine!", she called. Joon was first, of course, all teenage bravado in front of a girl, jumping in as if he hadn't a care in the world. Melda followed suit, gingerly touching it as if it might burn her hand before following Joon. Izley still looked pissed-off, but wonder and a touch of fear were warring for space with it as he walked towards, then into the painting.

"It- it feels real.", said Melda, experimentally kicking the floor.

"Paru-sama! Is this a real place?", said Joon.

"Tricky question, but yes, it's a real place in the Old World. Isn't it amazing?"

"Paru-", began Izley, but he was cut off by Haruna. "Izley dear, I know you're impatient to get started but I'll get to you when I've attended to these two first. Then I will do everything in my power to satisfy you. _Agreed_?"

Possibly sensing the stress and worry in that last word, he nodded stiffly.

She continued. "Ah, but I did promise you anyone as well. A stage such as this needs actors, don't you think? Chizuru! Shizuna!**"

A tall, beautiful kimono-clad woman with waist-length blonde hair shuffled out of the shadows stage left, while on the right an equally beautiful, yet younger and bustier, red-haired girl approached her. The girl was wearing an old-fashioned, long-skirted blue and white sailor uniform. She looked furtively around her, somehow not seeing the little group.

"Shizuna-sensei!"

"Naba-chan. I trust you received my letter?"

"We have to stop meeting like this, sensei. People are talking."

"Shhh, shhh, worry later darling. You know why I summoned you. And I know why you came." The taller woman lifted Chizuru's chin to stare into her eyes.

"Oh, Shizuna..."

They kissed with an intensity that suggested a long absence and an abundance of lust, on both sides.

Haruna tore her eyes away from the glorious sight to check her customers' reactions. Joon was entranced ("Wooow"), while Melda had her hands over her eyes and was peeking through her fingers. Izley wasn't unaffected either.

"As you can see, these golem actors are completely realistic in every way. They move, talk, think in the precise manner you specify. All I need is a picture or description... add some physical or mental 'enhancements'... and voila! Your private fantasy, fulfilled to the letter in one hour."

"Um, Miss Paru-sama, why one hour?", asked Melda. "Why not longer?"

Haruna wasn't sure she should be giving away such a weakness within earshot of a ticked-off tiger-man, but she hadn't planned to keep it a secret for long. "A limitation of my magic dear; anything I create only lasts for an hour. So keep it concise. Now come on, we've got to give you your money's worth! Follow me."

Meanwhile, Chizuru had slipped a hand inside her teacher's kimono; Shizuna had begin to untie her charge's red kerchief while nipping at her ear. With immense regret, Haruna dismissed them.

All four of them stepped out of the painting.

"So who's first?" Haruna's inner voice was shouting, 'corrupt the innocent boy. Corrupt the innocent boy!' but she pushed it down.

Surprisingly, Melda stepped forward. She opened her money bag and extracted two wallet-sized cards.

"I want to see this person," she said, handing Haruna one of the cards, "and this person", handing her the other, "you know – doing it." She blushed crimson under her brown skin.

"Nagi Springfield Fan Club?", she read, "and – Jack Rakan-edition Gladatrix membership card?"

"I'm really big fans of theirs and I'll understand if you don't see the attraction, gods knows no-one-"

"That's it?"

"What?"

"Bo-ring. Listen, you're on the right track, they're hot – but threesomes make everything better. Why don't you join in?"

"I- I don't know how..."

The manga girl drew a quick diagram on the pad, glancing occasionally at the cards for reference, then handed it to her. Melda had to turn the page around a few times. "Why is Rakan tied up? Can it do that? Where is Nagi sticking his toe – OH!" She began to tremble like a virgin on their wedding night. "No- no, I shouldn't, I shouldn't... should I?" Haruna companionably put her arm round her shoulder. "Melda. Nothing is offlimits to my customers. And not a word of this will leave the tent."

She let that thought stew for a moment. "Joon?"

"Uh- well it's kind of embarrassing. Can it wait until Melda has her turn?"

"The great Paru-sama cannot be shocked, dear – but I understand. Coming, Melda?"

"R-right."

They walked over to the wall opposite the temple portal-picture, shadows projected by the daylight still seeping in from it. Joon tried to make companionable eye contact with Izley in a "Haha, here we are" way, but was glared down for his trouble. He settled for sitting on the bed.

"You'll need to fill me in on the details. Imagine you're giving notes to an actor on how to play them."

"Um – okay. Rakan-san is a big manly boisterous type, while Nagi is more cheerful and carefree..."

Haruna scribbled these down in the margins of the picture, Melda interjecting with more suggestions as to character and setting.

After about a minute's hard sketching and periodic bursts of giggles from both of them, she summoned the picture.

"Come forth, Bedroom Scene!***" The picture glowed. "Go ahead, Melda, it's your show." She held the sketchbook open for her.

Melda picked up the image and placed it on the tent wall. As before, it spread itself over it like a thrown paint can and twinged into crystalline clarity.

This time the image showed an old-fashioned European bedroom, dominated by a ginormous 4-poster bed draped entirely in red velvet. Two naked forms lay under the silk sheets – one massively muscled with long white hair, the other tall, slender and boyish with a shock of hair red as an ember – spooning and whispering nonsense into each other's ears.

"Oh, almost forgot." Haruna created and handed Melda a floppy mob cap, which she put on hurriedly, a coil of silk rope and then a tray with a footbath placed neatly on top.

"Yes, perfect! Now go, my future min- er, girl! You only have an hour, so make the most of it!"

A nearly identical smile to Haruna's appeared on Melda's face. She stepped forth into the painting.

"Lord Rakan, I have the items you requested." She set the tray down at the foot of the bed.

"Hmm? Ah, thank you.", said the hulking white-haired man, sitting up to look at her. Melda nearly lost it when she saw the sheets had slipped almost down to his groin, but remembered her feed line.

"I- it is nothing sir. Will Nagi-san require anything?"

The red-haired man peered round Rakan's barrel chest at her. "Rakan, I didn't know you had such a cute maid. What is your name, child?", he said, eyes twinkling.

"M-Melda, sir."

"Well, Melda, now that I see you I do require something." He sat up and whispered something to Rakan.

"Bwahahaha! Nagi, you devil! We'll have to ask her first, though. Melda, my colleague Nagi is somewhat inept when it comes to knots. If you could help us, you may share either of our beds." Her other line! Once she spoke this, the Rakan and Nagi clones would go off-script; the last safety catch. She could abort with "No thank you", but no bloody way. "Actually, sirs, might I not share this bed with... both... now? I must leave within the hour." Rakan and Nagi were briefly surprised. Then Rakan laughed hard. "Hahahah! Oh you're a bold one. Right, clothes off first" – Melda was suddenly naked, clothes billowing over her head to land in a heap – "and into bed second!" Rakan's massive hand clamped itself over hers and yanked her right off her feet with a yelp, landing in between his muscular body and Nagi's lean and toned physique. The feeling of their warm, hard bodies was almost too much to bear.

Her last act of will before diving under the sheets was to grab the coil of rope, toss it to Nagi... then pull the cord that lowered the drapes on the four-poster.

"Oh, you BITCH!", shouted Haruna.

Shrieks, _mmhhs_ and dirty chuckles leaked out of the picture. Haruna was offended. She was the one who'd drawn it – the least Melda could have done was to let her watch! How would she like it if her best work was taken away from her before it to the good part?

She saw that Izley and Joon were looking at her oddly.

Right, focus on the job. Deal with client, placate the potentially jail-inducing Izley. Swallowing down her disgruntlement, she asked, "Joon. What was it that you couldn't say in front of a poor, now somewhat less innocent girl?"

"You know my sister's friends? Well... there's this girl among them that I've kind of had an eye on for a while now..."

"Say no more – I know exactly what you're talking about. The great Paru-sama has experience of such matters." Haruna readied her sketchpad. "What does she look like?"

"Well, her name's Durma. She's blonde, kind of like me but it's long and wavy, green eyes, pale-skinned, a sort of heart-shaped face..." Joon rattled off a detailed description, obviously born of long study, while Haruna sketched, adding what she could remember of the girl.

She presented the drawing for inspection; he nodded in approval ("That's exactly how I see her!"). "And now – the inside. Give me some indication of her personality – just the basics will be enough..."

"Oh, Durma's about the nicest girl you could ever hope to meet. Did you know she helps out with the veterans all the way over in Megalomesembria every year on her family holiday? ...she always gets so excited, I wish she'd get that excited over me. And she loves puppies..."

After four or five minutes of lovestruck gushing, Haruna's professional smile had not budged a millimetre. Inwardly she wondered how she'd managed to pick the one boy in the whole town who channelled Konoka.

"...and she unfolds her napkin in the cutest way possible, you should see it, it's not meant for mortal man..."

"Right, that should be enough, Joon!", said Haruna brightly. "You've been very... detailed. Trust me, you won't be able to tell the difference."

"Thank you, Miss Paru."

"What kind of scenario did you have in mind? I bet it's _sexy_", she said excitedly. He blushed and fidgeted. "My dear, if it's _that_ embarrassing, whisper it into my ear."

*whisper*

"Just that."

"Why, yes, is there a problem?"

"You don't want _anything_ else."

"Umm... no, not really."

"Joon", she began, writing in the specification as she talked, "you paid five thousand drachma, and would have paid full price if I hadn't cut it. You've seen what I can do. But all you want to do is... _talk_ to her? Not even practice a love confession?"

"N-no, I'm just too nervous."

"You're using my service to do something that could be done with a hand-mirror. Well", she said as she finished writing, "I may be able to offer you some perspective. Before we start, I have to know – are you a virgin?"

"What? No!"

"Good", said Haruna with satisfaction, writing 'ero-ero', 'Karma Sutra' and 'x 4' in the margins of the page. She sketched a simple room filled with big cushions, called it forth and applied it to the unadorned wall of the tent. "Because you're going to get a crash course in 'talking to women'." Her grin was diabolical as she called out, "Come forth, Durma!"

At her command, four completely identical young women in pretty little dresses appeared out of the pad. He barely had time to protest as they lifted him bodily and carried him into the picture.

"You'll thank me later!", called Haruna after him.

The quadruplet Durmas began methodically stripping him, two working on the ties of his jerkin and trousers, one working on his shoes. Quick as a wink, they had him down to his birthday suit. The fourth shed her dress and undies and her clones followed suit, presenting their backs for undoing. Poor Joon was having a boss rush of bras.

Having undone the last fastening, he managed to gasp out, "D-Durma..." before a clone forcefully latched on to his mouth like she was trying to suck the last of the icecream out of a cone. Two more began licking his nipples while another Durma produced a long ribbed rubber thimble.

Haruna watched with glee. 'Three, two, one, CONTAC-'

"Miss Paru, I think you owe me an explanation. Several explanations."

AAUUGH. Would she ever be able to watch any of her creations without interruption?

"Can't it wait, Izley? I've always wondered how this would work in real life..."

"NOW, Miss Paru."

She sighed and walked towards the temple scene. "Come on. I might as well answer your questions in a pretty setting."

* * *

Haruna leaned against the rail of the stage, trying not to meet Izley's eyes as he stood there in the simulated sunshine. She wondered what he must be thinking. He'd been patient enough up until now, waiting through her sessions with Joon and Melda, obviously dying to ask questions but without enough proof to outright accuse her of... what, exactly? How many connections had he made? She'd been relying on him getting addicted to her fantasies before he thought to probe further, but her little wing stunt had given the game away – by how much, she didn't know. The whole 'fantasy seraglio' thing was kind of dubious too and would probably have her run out of town, if he was feeling petty. Perhaps he'd just put one and one together and made two. She decided to risk it.

"Ask away, Izley."

"You can make anything you draw come to life, correct?"

"As you saw."

"So I was not imagining an invisible dragon this afternoon, after all? That was you, wasn't it?"

"Wellll... yes. Sorta. Technically I was telling the truth when I said there's no such thing as invisible dragons. But the noise – and the screaming – was me. I made a... magic flying machine and it kind of ran away with me."

He looked annoyed. "You're saying I spent the rest of the day scared over something that didn't exist?"

"Um, yeah. Ehehehe."

"I told my sergeant what I thought happened – she thought I was leading her on. I don't like being called a liar, Miss Paru", said Izley indignantly.

"Uh... sorry."

"Normally I would have gone straight home after changing with the night guard. But I was curious. Curious enough to stop at the station to see if there were any similar incidents. While I was talking to the deputy sergeant, the news came on." Haruna couldn't help herself. She groaned.

"I told myself, 'That looks like a certain Old World lady I met.' But someone that young would never behave so shamelessly. Besides, it was in Ostia and that's five days flight away by airship."

"In retrospect, I should have made the connection then, but I wasn't thinking that hard about it, as *hem* my mind was elsewhere at the time..." He looked embarrassed. Haruna beamed.

"I suspect you want to know when I worked it out. I knew you had something to do with this afternoon when you did your bird wing summon; you have a very distinctive laugh. That groan when I mentioned the news report helped me complete the connection – Miss Haruna Saotome."

Now it was Haruna's turn to be annoyed. And a little confused.

"Why didn't you bust me there and then? I was right out in the open, you had witnesses-"

"-that would have reported you asking your 'assistant' the name of this city in a very familiar manner and entering the tent", finished Izley. "I only suspected you of travelling under false pretences then anyway. Beside that, you are clearly powerful; you might have fled by the time I returned with backup and it would have required I tell them precisely who let you into the city. The only choice I had was to see if you were as wanton and perverted towards other people as you were to me. You did not disappoint."

"Okay, fine, I have a healthy appetite, big deal. But what does that stick up your bum tell you you should do?", snapped Haruna.

"Work for you."

* * *

Next: A surprising ally!

Such a relief to get to the meat of the story. Isn't that right, Haruna? Haruna?

"...this, then this, stimulate that..."

I know I'll regret this, but what are you drawing?

"I'm working on Escher toys. Want to see?"

Give it here, I know it's your story and all bu- nnnk...

"Good, eh? Satisfies the parts that normal matter just can't reach. I was inspired by that drawing hands poster you had."

This- this is an abomination of common sense, decency and physics.

"I can put it in the next chapter then?"

We'll talk.

*7-word alliteration combo! Booyah.  
**Haruna had drawn doujins, plural, of this. No, you can't see them.  
***They can't all be classics.****  
****Pun not intended.


	6. Chapter 5: Opportunity

Chapter 5 – Opportunity

Haruna's mind tried to process this sudden change of heart and threw a metaphorical piston through the roof.

"Whaaa?"

"The city and its lord have very high standards for its guard. My loyalty is in doubt, due solely to your little ruse when you saw me..."

...oh no. Haruna's shock was fading and she was trying to be contrite, but her face wouldn't obey her. The ever-present grin was coming back as Izley complimented her on her cunning (really, spur-of-the-moment) ruse (whim). It was just like that time she received detention for sneaking into the boy's locker room on a dare. Takahata-sensei had wondered how a 13-year-old girl could make her own lockpick and torque wrench. The principal remarked that she must be a very smart young girl; her proud smirk had gotten her another week's worth...

...he was still talking. She tuned back in.

"...losing my job was almost a certainty and- is something funny?"

"No! Nonono." She forced herself to look attentive and, above all, _serious_. "Go on."

Glaring for a bit, he continued, "I figured I might as well have my fun before I had to look for employment. Then I made the connection and saw an... opportunity. Are you in the market for a guard, Miss Haruna?"

"Umm..."

"I don't need to remind you that, while you could escape with relative ease, the city would not hesitate to hire bounty hunters, and with my description they would be able to find you wherever you set up shop. I have just enough spite for what you've done to me today to send it."

"If I told you we were framed, would you believe me?"

"Given your current record of honesty, not really", said Izley dryly. "But I need you regardless. I request that you hire me. No, I _insist_. It could be extremely dangerous for an unaccompanied young lady here." He smiled, and while it would have looked like a friendly gesture to anyone else, it also exposed rows of sharp teeth.

He had her. It wasn't as though it would be hard to ditch him, but a larger bounty, while flattering, would be all kinds of unhealthy.

"Well then... I guess... welcome aboard!" Haruna stuck out her hand to be swamped by his furry mitt, and shook vigorously. "How do you want to play this, Izley?"

"Half of whatever we take in Taoyuan, since I can point you towards the biggest earners in the city", he stated flatly. "Twelve and a half percent when we're on the road."

"You pirate!"*

"I want enough to set up a decent living."

"I'll set _you_ up all right", muttered Haruna.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

There was an uncomfortable silence, then. Izley stood with the ease of long practice. Haruna drummed her fingers on the guardrail. Lawful, stuffed-shirt blackmailer and perverted, overpowered troublemaker who didn't want to cause an expensive fuss; neither knew quite how to treat the other. Or what to say that wouldn't upset the delicate balance of power.

She checked the hourglass she'd created to mark the time left. Half gone. Haruna desperately wanted to check up on Joon, but Izley had noted it. She could feel his disapproving gaze upon her.  
"Listen, Izley, if you are going to at least appear to be my guard, you have to let me work. The more I examine the customer's experience, the better I can tailor to the next customer's! Come, minion!"

"Minion?", snarled Izley.

"Sorry, sorry – reflex. Another thing: you're going to have to follow my orders. Question me in private all you like, but in public, I want respect and a hearty 'Yes, Miss Paru'. Now are you coming or what, Izley?"

"...yes, Miss Paru."

* * *

Various perverted sounds were still com- emanating from the other tableaus when they stepped out of the painting.

The occupants were wrapped up in their private worlds, but Haruna still kept her voice low. "How do I know you'll not rob me in my sleep? Worse, stab me?"

"All I'm after is money and a spot of excitement," replied Izley. "We will just have to trust each other."

"Right, trust," said Haruna sarcastically. 'Why'd I have to pick up a Paladin as my first party member?', she thought.

Melda was still concealed behind the four-poster's curtains, though a thrashing leg or arm would occasionally dent the thick velvet. Joon had, for lack of a better term, settled down nicely with the four Surmas.

"Look at his fingers go!", giggled Haruna. "He'd do great at an arcade."

Izley just turned his scowling face away, though his eyes kept flicking back to the acrobatics.

"Izley, this is practically a public service. Most people never get the chance to fulfil their dreams, but I'm making it happen, showing them sides of themselves they've kept hidden or never even considered!"

"You're ruining them."

"Psht. It would have bothered them worse to have it buried inside all their lives."

"You see, I have a dream", continued Haruna, her voice rising triumphantly, "that one day, people will find sexy what ever they find sexy, and they shall not be judged for liking it. Trap-likers. Manly muscle fans!"

"Miss Paru", began Izley, but she was lost in her vision.

"...Bishonen fanboys. My fellow Fujoshi. Even chubby chasers. Gender will not be an obstacle to hotness. Femdom! Sissification! Threesomes! All come! Together, we shall link our arms in brotherly unison, even as our hands are busy elsewhere."

"**RISE UP AND FAP!**" One hand pointed at the sky.

Haruna suddenly became aware that all eyes were upon her. Again.

Izley looked pained, but it was edged out by not a little amusement.

Joon had tilted his head back to see what all the fuss was about.

Melda had poked her head out, hair hurricaned out into a total mess.

Now even the _constructs_ were staring.

Her triumphant left finger wilted, and she lowered her hand. A blush coloured her cheeks. Her patrons were treated to the sight of something previously thought impossible.

An embarrassed Haruna.

At least she'd left out the part about setting up the pervert republic.

* * *

Halfway across the world, a young girl jolted awake – in her dreams she'd sensed a terrible perversion of the natural order. Dawn was breaking. The rest of her new companions were still asleep by the dying campfire, the lightening sky was clear. Nothing was wrong. Yet the source of the disturbance, though she didn't know how she knew this, had seemed familiar. Very familiar. Almost like-

"Haruna?", said Nodoka.

* * *

There really wasn't a way to deal gracefully with announcing your intent to masturbate, at the top of your voice, in the midst of your test audience for your grand scheme. Nevertheless... "Eh... ehehe. _Erhumm_." She coughed selfconsciously. "Ahem. Uh... Ten minutes left, people!"

By the pens of CLAMP, Izley was _smirking_. "Why, Miss Paru, I never knew you were so... _outspoken_."

All right, forget balance of power. "_Come_, Izley, we must discuss_ travel plans_." Ears burning, she dragged him back into the stage of Kiyo Mizu.

Joon and Melda sideeyed each other with an indefinable look – it had an element of _what were all those things she was talking about?_, closely followed by _what **are** you doing?_ and _I did **not** want to know that about you_, before the constructs pulled them back into their endeavours.

Five minutes later, things were warming up again when they were interrupted by a series of intermittent thumps, then a massive splintering *CRASH*, from the temple side of the tent. Dust billowed across the image, obscuring the temple.

A figure came into focus in the dust cloud, resolving itself into Haruna, who stepped out of the painting, composure restored.

Izley stumbled out after her, seemingly torn between fear and awe of Miss Paru.

"Templum Regis, cease." The image disappeared, leaving a blank tent wall. "Izley, what have you learned?"

"I- I should show proper respect to Miss Paru, or else I have to play 'Dodge the Eva' again."

She turned to address her patrons, making a show of checking the hourglass. "Oh my, it seems you're out of time. Once you leave, I ask that you regard what I have said as a private matter and not for the ears of the public."

Seeing their doubtful looks, she added, "Remember, trust goes _both_ ways." The young woman's smile widened. "But don't let that stop you from recommending this place to your friends!"

"Bedroom scene, cease! Props, cease! Seraglio, cease! Durma, cease!"

The images poofed into clouds of smoke, depositing the stark-naked forms of Joon and Melda on the tent carpet. They dressed quickly and left, respectfully avoiding Miss Paru's eyes and each pretending they hadn't been at least half-interested in her proposal.

Haruna's professional smile drooped as soon as they'd left. "I could have handled that better, Izley", she sighed. "I don't _mean_ to come off all supervillain and threatening, it just comes naturally. I'm a good girl at heart! But they would have told people..."

"So you're just misunderstood. Of _course_ you are, Miss Paru.", said Izley.

"Sounds like **someone** wants to go another round with the Eva."

"_There is no need..._", began Izley quickly. "If I may be frank, you are not really helping your case, Miss Paru."

"Oh really? And what's so great about you, Blackmail-san?"

"Native knowledge, law-abiding nature and a level head, Miss Paru.", Izley said, not batting an eye.

Haruna couldn't think of a suitably civil and non-villainous retort to that. She peeked out the tent flap at the waiting crowd.

The number of people outside Paru's Pleasures had grown somewhat. She thought she recognised the ears of the catgirl to whom she'd given the free pass.

An interesting commotion was developing in Jan's group, who had segregated into boys and girls, each trying to converse with Joon/Melda without anyone else overhearing. Several strangers were oh-so-subtly leaning towards them anyway.

The perverted girl's trained ears, second only to Asakura's in picking up gossip, caught snippets: "...it's real..." "...you do?" "...did what?" "How... …it?". Melda blushed then, luminously enough that she could see it under the streetlamps' yellow glow, while Joon's grin spoke volumes.

'How wonderful, I won't have to kill them later-' where did that come from? 'Bad Haruna! Bad! No supervillainy!'

They regrouped and conducted a short but spirited discussion. All six of them, very deliberately, stood in line. Haruna hugged herself with joy. 'It's working. It's working! I am a **GENIUS**! Eeeee!'

She didn't have to fake the happy smile this time as she stepped out to greet the crowd.

* * *

Later that night, once Haruna's drawing hand had begun to cramp, she got Izley to turn away the rest of the patrons still waiting outside.

She sat down on the bed and took off the half-mask. "All in all, a hundred percent successful night!", she said, rubbing her hands together. Now that he saw her whole face – big brown eyes framed with half-rimmed glasses, the ever-present smile, triangular face – she looked quite pretty and normal, thought Izley. How could such innocent features contain such lewdness?

"I shall never be the same again", groused Izley, slumping onto the bed near her. "Now my dreams will be filled with tentacle suspension.** _Tongues do not belong there_."

Haruna grinned wickedly at him. "All in all, a hundred percent successful night! Call that payback for the blackmail. They didn't particularly mind it either... Mmm."

"But why did they take so readily to it? WHY?" Izley was thinking of the dolphin-man who'd been nudged into asking for a harem of sealions – he had literally dived into the picture. The honking... he pushed the memory down before his mind supplied any more details.

"Izley dear, I told you. Everyone has some fantasies that are quite frankly impossible to realise. Back in my native land, outside of my circle of friends I would be shunned for revealing everything I was into. Taoyuan's even more buttoned-up; someone like me is precisely what they need. I'm giving them the guilt-free opportunities I wished I'd had back in the Old World."

"You're also exploiting them for your own gain."

"My own gain?"

Haruna unfastened the money bag from her belt, counted out half the contents onto the bed and pushed it across to Izley.

"Before I forget, here's your 'gain'", she said sweetly.

Izley just glowered at her.*** Haruna's stomach growled back at him as if in response.

"Heh. That solves what to do next. Izley, dear, with your superior native knowledge, direct me to an inn if you'd be so kind."

Would that he could find a way to disconcert her again. She was far too cocky for a fourteen year-old girl.

"And tonight I'm buying supper!"

After supper anyway.

* * *

*I am so very sorry, but the punlords made me do it.  
**This chapter is brought to you by the letters /d/ and /h/.  
***A tiger-man glower is accompanied by a slight raising of the upper lip to expose the canines and a barely-audible growl. They are excellent negotiators.

* * *

Next: Connections!

"Aww, why didn't you show the good stuff?"

Haruna, your good stuff makes me want to scrub my eyeballs. Moreover, there's only so much I can do with suggesting before even I get bored with it, and it's never good to test the reader's patience. Besides, if they really wanted to see it, I'd release an alternate 18+ edition.

"With the Shizuna X Chizuru doujin?"

Yes, with the doujin, with the tentacles and catgirls and sealions, everything. ONLY if they ask. Can you leave and get ready? I have to talk to the readers themselves.

"Hai, hai."

Thank you for bearing with me. My motivation for writing this just disappeared and I had an agonising time rediscovering it. Refinding the voice of Haruna was hardest of all; still not sure I have it down properly. I also have to be careful not to strengthen Izley too much – visions of Marty Stu original characters I've known and disliked float through my mind every time I write his dialogue, making me yell, "I know, but he has to have some good lines!". I swear I didn't mean to have him become a main character, he was just the right person at the right time to become Haruna's foil.


	7. Chapter 6: Pure Imagination

Chapter 6 – Pure Imagination

The main throughfare of the city was almost deserted by the time they reached the inn Izley had picked out. _The Wizard's Tower_ was fairly classy (he'd said), but more importantly, it still had the original anti-scrying enchantment. It attracted a lot of folks with low profiles. Of course the _really_ shady characters went elsewhere, as that was a red flag to the city guard, but for dalliancers, diplomats and plotters it was ideal.

"After all", Haruna had said, "aren't we all three?"

The bar was staffed by a bleary-eyed barcatman who barely raised an eyebrow at the disparity between the couple.

"Hail, my good man!", said Haruna (mask back on now), slapping a hand on the bar. "The Great Paru requires one of your finest rooms!"

"Huh?"

"And we'll have a meal, whatever's good, and lots of it. We're not going to get much sleep, if you get me. _Heheheh_." A strangled sound issued out of Izley's throat. Haruna gave him a look of triumph and mouthed, _Your move_.

Before the little succubus could destroy his reputation any further, he addressed the barman himself. "How are things, Karl? Been busy? I hear your boss has gotten some of that mesquite liqueur in. Even the manor has a standing order. Strange how you're able to sell it so cheap... but of course, smuggling pure mesquite in is illegal, isn't it?" He leaned in slightly. "I might be persuaded not to talk to my captain if _certain people_ could keep their mouths shut. Deal?"

Karl, looking ever-so-slightly disgruntled now, began to nod before the faint whiff of desperation reached his nose. "Five hundred drachma, and I won't spread it around that you're a dollboy. _Deal_?", he said mockingly.

Grumbling, Izley counted out the money (plus bribe) into the barman's hand and took the key. He could feel the mirth radiating off Haruna as they walked up to their room.

"Ooh, does 'dollboy' mean what I think it means?", she asked gleefully.

"What do you _think_ it means?"

"Kiddy-fiddler, cradle-snatcher, lolicon... am I getting warm? Help me out here."

'I must not claw her face off I must not claw her face off I must not claw her face off', thought Izley. "Are you this annoying on purpose or does it come naturally?", he growled.

Haruna noticed his tail flicking, the talons starting to edge out of the ends of his furry fingers and mentally took a step back. "Lighten up, I'm just teasing. Anyway, 104, we're here."

Izley unlocked the door to reveal a palatial two-bed suite that, rumour had it, was where the original wizard had had his workshop.*

Glowing orbs, similar to the street lights, lit up when they opened the door. Haruna took in the curving walls, silk hangings, authentic faux alchemist's bench dining table, bathroom and plush beds, then bounded in, chucked her rucksack on the bed and planted herself in an overstuffed armchair situated by the slit-like window, mentally taking notes for her future Lair of Lasciviousness. Izley wearily closed and locked the iron-bound door, then took a stool at the table opposite her. Haruna dragged herself away from designing and looked at the tiger-man, eagerness suddenly warring with a touch of hesitation and... guilt? She prodded this new feeling, wondering where it had come from. He looked tired, and she'd been firing barbed comments all the way-

"Out with it. I know you're bursting to ask me..."

"...who's got the money and power in the city? Ah... yes", finished Haruna. "I need to make the most money in the shortest time possible; it's going to be so much easier with my trusty, uh, informer to point me towards the big shots."

Izley rubbed his face and eyed the young human girl. "I'm really going to regret this, aren't I?"

"Probably. But you'll be rich and... I'll kinda owe you a favour forruiningyourlifesorry*AHERRM*"

'Wait, was that an apology?'/'Did I actually say sorry?', thought both simultaneously.

Maybe the girl wasn't as callous as she acted... maybe.

They were both spared the effort of wondering what to make of this by a ringing at the door. It was sound-shielded, but all room doors had a two-way bell-pull. The bell-code was one ring for room service, two for visitors or message, or three for urgent. Izley pulled himself to his feet, walked over to the door and rang back one peal for "Not busy/Available".

He opened the door to reveal Kurt, grinning and carrying a tray piled high with food and a big pitcher of fruit-juice. Izley was beginning to get tired of people smiling at him like that.

"Cook's asleep so you get cold sliced drake, bread and leftover casserole", said Kurt as he laid it all out on the table. "It's all fresh today, though. Flamme! See you tomorrow morning, Izley... and Miss Paru." As he left, he winked in Izley's general direction.

Had he...? Yes, he'd lit a romantic candle and laid out the good plates. Bastard. For once, Haruna didn't make a comment.

Suddenly he was too tired and hungry to care. Without another word, he sat down and piled meat on his plate.

Haruna needed no further prompting and unceremoniously sat beside him, following suit – but not before blowing out the candle.

OoOoOoO

"Ahh, that was goood," said Haruna. She belched happily. "What was in that casserole?"

"It's called chichep surprise. My mother used to make it. What you do is – why am I chatting with you now?"

"My natural charm," she said airily. Getting fed seemed to have taken the grump out of him. Maybe now... "Would it help if I said sorry properly?"

Only the slight raising of his eyebrows betrayed his surprise. "It m-" - a huge yawn interrupted his answer - "-might."

Removing the mask, she faced the former guard sitting on the bed opposite hers and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. All I meant was to give you a good time, but believe it or not, I didn't frame you intentionally. I... saw an opportunity to have a bit of fun at your expense. That's it."

"And?" prompted Izley.

"...and I shouldn't have set a 40-metre-tall berserk war robot on you. Even if you completely deserved it for gloating over my little slip."

"That was no little slip, and you know it. You meant every word, didn't you?", he said.

Haruna looked left, looked right, then smirked and nodded vigorously.

"*sigh* I *yawn* suppose that will do. Apology accepted."

"Friends?"

"Tomorrow. Need sleep now." The first glimmer of dawn could be seen through the slit.

"Good night, Izley."

A snore answered her. He hadn't even taken off his sandals.

'Aww, he didn't answer my questions. Never mind, there's alwa-' *yaaawn* 'always tomorrow.'

She had just enough presence of mind to take off her glasses and slip on a pair of pyjamas from her rucksack before collapsing on the bed herself.

-  
The bell at the door rang politely.

Both occupants snored on.

The ringing became more insistent.

Izley turned over.

"All shall love me and despair...", murmured Haruna.

The caller gave up on politeness and jangled the bell like a fire alarm.

Haruna rose from the dead, er, bed. "Dress", she thought blearily. Did glasses or the mask go on first? That sorted, she fished out her pactio card, settling for the standard manga artist apron and beret over her rumpled school uniform. Good enough; she could change properly later. Her hair was a mess, though.

CLANGCLANGCLANG

Brushing her hair hurriedly, she shouted, "I'm COMING! Hey, Izley. IZLEY!"

"SIR, I'm awake SI-" A cloud passed over his face as yesterday's memories reasserted themselves. "Urgh."

"Glad you're awake, soldier. As your commanding officer, I command you to get the door."

"Why?"

"Why? I can't risk anyone else identifying me!", she hissed.

Izley growled what was surely a vile threat in his native tongue, but obeyed, opening the door to reveal a disgruntled human maid. "Finally!" She shrank a bit under Izley's glower, but rallied magnificently, leaning round Izley to address Haruna as she walked towards them.

"Look, half the guard is in the lobby asking for a certain Izley Denton's whereabouts, and there's about twenty or thirty random people camped outside. At this rate, we'll be forced to give you up and we'll lose our reputation! You have to leave. Now."

"Well, Miss Paru?", hissed Izley.

"Well what, Mr. Denton?", Haruna hissed back.

"Do you have a plan for what your indiscretion has brought upon us?"

"I can hear you, you know", snapped the maid.

"Give me a second, it's not like I can snap my fingers and- oh. Ohh... yes I can." Haruna laughed softly. "Maid?"

"It's Karanai!" "Karanai, yes. What would you have to be paid for you to leave a week's worth of rations next to the door and to swear that you never saw us leave?"

She immediately recited, "As part of the stay in the premium suite you have access to the standard Absconding Adventurer's kit, which includes three days of rations, a 6-hour window of obfuscation from the staff for the party, fake diplomatic passes and complimentary collapsible 10-foot-pole. Cheap at 400 drachmas per person."

"I like this place. But it's a bit pricey. Can I get a discount if I swear you won't see us leave?"

"How are you going to do that?", said the maid. "I know you didn't have any luggage, and the old wards are comprehensive."

"We'll be fine." said Haruna.

"Well, if you can get past that crowd and me, you can have it for free! But you won't", she said.

"Just bring it up here and set it outside the door. As fast as possible!"

"Okay, okay..." She turned and started walking down the corridor towards the ground floor.

As soon as she was out of sight around the curve of the wall, Haruna took hold of one of Izley's hands and started feeling it up, quickly moving on to his arms, shoulders, chest and legs.

"Ha- Miss Paru, what are you doing?", sputtered Izley.

"Inside leg – impressive...", muttered Haruna. She looked up, grinning full force. "You'll see. Or rather, you won't."

OoOoOoO

When the maid returned with the pack, the door was open and the only sign that anyone had been in the room were the unmade beds and dirty dishes.

"Hello?"

They couldn't be invisible. The wards specifically guarded against the casting of spells or consumption of potions that weren't authorised by the (now long-dead) wizard – another reason they were popular with diplomats.

Setting down the pack beside the door, she ventured in – only to have the door slam shut behind her.

Yanking the door open revealed nothing but a small bag of drachma at the base of the doorway, and no sign of either occupant.

"How the hell did she do that?"

OoOoOoO

"Crawling about like a spider wasn't on my list of 'things I wanted to do today'", whispered Izley.

"Getting caught wasn't on it either, was it? Now hush, we're coming to the stairs", Haruna whispered back.

The two of them were dressed in all-encompassing hooded jumpsuits that Haruna had specced to have the same properties as the camouflage blankets, and to cling to stone when a hand or foot was touched to it. Currently they were clinging to the sloping ceiling of the stairs, Haruna in front while Izley followed, carrying the complimentary pack wrapped in more camouflage.

Down they went, carefully as they could to avoid rustling or even the tiniest of sounds. As they approached, the sound of a fair-sized crowd became apparent.  
Turning to Izley, she said, "Can you hear how many guards there are?"

"Of course I can, now shush." A petty part of him was glad he could return the shush. Tilting his head back and away from the ceiling, he listened as best he could through the heavy hood.

"There's Ebbie... Alton... Immi... shit."

"What?"

"It's not half the guard, but I half wish they had. Standard 3-person arrest and retrieval detail, and the sarge put her best nose and one of her best listeners in it." He hmphed sardonically. "I didn't know she cared."

"I didn't know you could make puns", said Haruna. "We could use the rings I made, but I don't know if they work here. I guess we'll just have to turn you in."

"What?"

Instead of answering, she dug around inside her suit, extracting and opening her artifact. "Come, Izley Denton!" A hulking tiger-man in Izley's uniform materialised on the floor and looked up at its master. "Go with the people there looking for Izley", whispered Haruna. "If they ask about me, say when you woke up, the girl was gone. Once you get to the police station, pretend to be deaf when they ask questions. Before you expire, say you have to go to the toilet. If you understand, just nod." The golem nodded. "Go." It walked off down towards the entry hall. Izley remembered to breathe. He was less stunned at the sight of himself and more at the implications of being able to impersonate anyone. He'd seen it, but hadn't thought... This girl... This girl's artifact could topple a country, and she was using it as a glorified sex toy. You're also invisible inside a ward, he reminded himself. Two countries, then.

Haruna stowed the notebook back inside. There was a tense wait before they heard the shout of "There he is!" and Izley's voice saying, "I am coming quietly. She left me behind."

"I don't sound that stuffy, do I?", whispered Izley. A small snicker was his answer.

Several more minutes later, he could hear the squad moving out. The golem didn't seem to be restrained – he had not heard the jangle of keys – so there was a good chance they were going to stick him/it in an office before the chief interrogated his clone. The sound of the civilians hadn't faded, though. This he reported to Haruna.

"That gives us an hour, maybe two. We have to get outside, then on to the roof. Shouldn't be too hard", she said. With that, she crawled quickly down the ceiling of the staircase; cursing her impulsiveness, Izley had no choice but to follow.

OoOoOoO

Haruna discovered it was rather harder to climb across a ceiling unnoticed than to stroll across a floor. The wooden panelling of the lobby creaked mightily every time it had to take weight, so she was forced to stretch out to cling to the beams. Every second, she had the feeling that someone would look up and see the two distorted patterns moving across. And then there was the matter of the firmly-shut door, the bane of the invisible.

All of a sudden the door opened, admitting the maid and a huddle of people, one of whom stuck her foot in the door to stop Karanai from slamming it shut.

"We know she's in here! I followed her last night!", shouted one man.

"I have to see Miss Paru again! Can you tell us where she went? I'll pay you!", said another.

"Look, I haven't... seen... this Paru person...", Karanai grunted out, trying to drag the door shut.

"Shut up and take my money!", he said, throwing a bundle of drachma notes in her face.

Her surprise, however brief, was all the crowd needed. Surging in, they approached the desk, some hunting for the ledger, others going up the stairs.

Briefly glancing back to check that Izley understood, they both slipped out through the top of the tall door, people still streaming in. Some were scrabbling for the money, which only worsened the crush.

They clambered up the second story and onto the low sloping roof, where they removed their camouflage suits and lay down, letting the air cool their sweaty brows.

"Come on, say it", said Haruna, turning her head towards him. "You're dying to say something, I know it."

"It must be nice to have fans", said Izley.

"Ha. Ha. Haa." She thought for a minute. There was a market, the crowd down there proved it, but Izley was something of a liability right now. She needed patronage to work freely and to protect him, at least until she got to another city. Letting him be captured, then breaking him out later was out – it'd affect her business.

"Izley. What, at the minute, are you guilty of?"

"Not reporting to the day guard, and aiding and abetting an illegal merchant.", he replied. "And soon, making a fool of the guard. Why?"

"Who in the city has enough power to get those convictions overturned?"

"The Duke of Taoyuan himself, the Fords, the Galins and maybe the Sendus. The Galins would probably be the most appreciative of your particular brand of perversion, they practically keep half the bar wenches in business as it is."

"Galin family it is, then", said Haruna. "Are they rich?"

"Fairly. Though I get the feeling they may be having cashflow problems soon", he sighed.

"Think of it as putting money back into circulation." She opened her artifact and began sketching, soon calling forth two pairs of the simple angel wings she'd designed in Evangeline's resort. Was it that long ago? Asuna had fallen and nearly killed herself when they poofed out of existence, and, furious, she'd chased Haruna around for half an hour once Negi'd taken her back up... Haruna dragged her thoughts back to the present day. She was fine, they all were – she had to believe that.

After getting his directions to the Galin family compound, she told him to put on a ring and a set of wings; Izley looked askance at the halo, but complied. Donning her own, she flew off with an excited, "Follow me!".

Down below, the crowd began walking dejectedly out of The Wizard's Tower, unaware of their objective flitting past above their heads.

OoOoOoO

"...as an envoy of Mahora, here with a business proposal for..." "Filius Galin", whispered Izley. "Yes, Filius Galin!"

The two of them had circled the palatial house and medium-sized gardens, scouting the area before landing in a nearby alley. Haruna had conjured up an appropriately fancy floor-length dress for herself, and an intimidating bodyguard costume for Izley complete with concealing helmet. Looking through the diplomatic passes in the adventurer's pack gave her the idea of posing as an ambassador from a far-away city-state. Forging a new one (with extra squiggly bits) was laughably simple – it only had to get them past the guards at the gate, anyway.

There were a few snags, though...

"I've never heard of the city-state of Mahora. Have you, Jonas?", said the leftmost guard.

"No Gary, I haven't. There's a school, I know that", said the one to the right of the gate.

...chief among them the fact that she'd underestimated the intelligence of someone paid to stand there in shiny armour with a plume on their helmet.  
"In fact", Jonas continued, "that reminds me of the news I saw yesterday..."

'To hell with subtle', thought Haruna. "Iz- Bodyguard, explain the situation to them, please? I just need to get additional identification from my bag." Luckily there were few people about to see.

Digging through the clutch purse she'd made, she stepped behind Izley, muttering "Where is it? I swear it was here..." among various other epithets. Soon as she was out of sight, she drew a simple sphere in her artifact, writing _explosive_, _flash_ and _3-second timer_ underneath, calling it forth as quietly as possible. Then she threw it up over the fence and began to draw like mad.

'Izley's doing a fair job of playing dumb', she thought, scribbling away. 'Then again I didn't tell him about this, though...2, 3...'

BANG

The two guards' heads whipped round at the sound, which meant they didn't notice the tentacles whipping towards them out of Haruna's sketchpad. In less than ten seconds, they were as tightly blindfolded & trussed up as any of her doujin characters. Izley was still open-mouthed as she bent down to search for their keys to the gate and finding nothing but a plate to the side of it, she manipulated the tentacles to stick the guard's hand to it to open it up. That done, she called forth their doppelgangers and told them to dump the real ones in a handy bush, then stand guard outside.

The whole thing had taken about thirty seconds. She addressed the furious guards. "I promise we're not going to do anything, but we are in a hurry. Forgive me. Come on... bodyguard." Dragging Izley behind her, she opened the door of the main house and went in.

Straight into a short, green-eyed dark-skinned girl with a wide mouth, who'd been running out to investigate the noise.

"Ack!", said Haruna as the girl tramped on the hem of her dress, unbalancing her.

"Mmf!", said the girl as she faceplanted into Haruna's boobs.

*Facepalm* went Izley, as the two girls fell over in a heap.

Helping the girl up, Haruna recognised her first customer and thought very fast. "Melda? Oh, I knew we could find you!"

"Who- Paru-sama! What are you doing here?", exclaimed Melda.

Make it urgent and dire - not too hard. "Fairest Melda!" Easy on the melodrama, you're not Ayaka. "I have been hounded by my fans, and poor Izley here has had an altercation with the guard! My bodyguard made mention of the influence of the Galins; you were the only person I could think of that I could trust. Please, help us!"

Now, let's see if you're co-conspirator or minion material.

"Um, not that I'm not happy to see you, but what exactly did you do, Mr. Izley?", asked Melda. "I need to know what to tell Daddy."

Good girl!

Izley, unused to being on the spot, decided to go with the truth. "I let a merchant with no identification into the city, was seen apparently moonlighting as her cohort" - Haruna did her best to look sheepish and almost succeeded - "and then did not show up for work today."

"That's it?"

"And I have resisted arrest and they will be here in about an hour", he finished.

"Ah. Er, you aren't Paru-sama's bodyguard?", said Melda.

"I wasn't then, but we have a... business agreement now." Izley's face was carefully composed.

"Well... I think Daddy might be able to do something. Come with me."

The foyer was decorated in stone - marble staircases, slate floor, watermelon-coloured granite behind the paintings on the walls. Their footsteps echoed as they climbed up the stairs to the second floor.

Melda led them to a door on the left. "I have to talk to him. Wait here a minute."

As soon as the door was closed, Haruna conjured up a glass to listen in at the door. Off Izley's look, she said, "What? You'd want to know too."

The only thing she caught through the thick door, though, was that Galin Sr. was ever so slightly annoyed. Hearing steps, she stepped back to where she'd been waiting, hiding the glass & acting as innocent as possible.**

The door of the study opened. Haruna's immediate impression was of a male, taller version of Melda. Same wide mouth, only set in a frown right now, brown skin, oval face, stocky build and green, currently disapproving eyes. Only the masculine set of the face and body, pressed suit and short hair differentiated Filius from his daughter.

A smile to someone you needed help from took practice to pull off. You had to appear relieved by the other's presence - but positively, as if you had another partner to share the load, not an unwilling patsy to dump it on and walk away. You couldn't appear toadyish and grasping, either. The little crinkles about the eyes were the hardest.

Filius took one look at her and completely failed to be charmed. 'Mask. Ah', thought Haruna.

"I suppose you'd better come in", he said with a sigh.

They followed him in to the study. Parchements littered the desk and and cubbyholes about the room. A leather armchair was set behind it, Melda standing to one side. He gestured towards two chairs sat in front of the desk and bade them to sit.

Settling himself down, he eyed Haruna with suspicion. "So. My daughter, after staying out all last night, brings in two new friends. She is a good girl, and I trust her, but you must understand my concern when a) she refuses to tell me what happened b) you bring along a fugitive and ask to be helped c) you have gotten past my guards. Why should I?"

"Putting aside any thought of prosecution for any employees I may or may not have tied up, if you could see to it that Izley Denton is rendered immune from prosecution, either by stunning the city guard with copious amounts of drachma (which I can pay you back in full, honest), or by pulling a few strings, I think I have a service that could interest you... personally."

"How?"

"It's the sort of thing that needs a practical demonstration. Can I just show you?"

He leaned back in his chair. "If you like", he said neutrally.

"Melda", said Haruna, "could you be a dear and show Izley where the kitchen is? We haven't had any breakfast. I need to demonstrate something to your father." Melda caught the faint stress on the "demonstrate", connected it with the widening grin on Haruna's face, and blushed deeply.

"C-Come with me, Mr. Denton. Lunch takes a while to be made."

As soon as the door closed behind Izley and Melda, Hauna turned back to Filius and grinned even harder.

'Show~time'.

OoOoOoO

Approximately forty minutes later, a thoroughly exhausted merchant stumbled out, creased and rumpled, from Haruna's Kiyo Mizu tableau.

"Haha, hah... haaaa..." Filius collapsed in the nearest chair. Haruna looked proud.

"Another satisfied customer", she giggled. "Templus Regim, cease!"

The two extremely naked women in the picture waved him goodbye before the whole thing vanished.

"How..." He took several deep breaths. "How did you obtain that artifact?"

"Found it", said Haruna blithely.

"You mean to tell me you just happened to find the _Imperium Graphices_?", said Filius.

"Well, no, but it's a good cover story."

"Then what's the real story?"

"Ehh... can't tell. But I do promise it's a good one."

"Miss Paru, you have taken a weapon of unimaginable power and by all accounts used it to create a fantasy brothel. Even limiting it to that could drain the treasuries of the city in weeks. Yet – and I can't quite believe I'm saying this – I don't think you are going to do that. Are you?"

"Welll, I do have a pressing engagement elsewhere. I'm simply here to promote my new business, make a lot of money and move on. It's not my fault – well it is, _sort of_ – that things became complicated."

A knock at the door interrupted them. "Come in", said Haruna. Izley came in wheeling a trolley heaped with food – tea, coffee, eggs, bacon, porridge, sandwiches, cereals of all sorts and a dish of fruits.

Melda looked round the doorway, fearful of what she might see. Seeing only her father, the state he was in and what he might be thinking, she came in somewhat timidly, unsure whether she was going to be scolded. At her look, he waved his hands in placation. "It's all right, dearest, I won't blame you for enjoying yourself. Besides, Daddy was just discussing business with your friend Miss Paru." Melda's relief was palpable.

Turning back to Haruna, and nodding to Izley, he rubbed his face wearily. "Then, I suppose, the sooner I help you, the sooner I can have a walking economic bomb out of the city."

Haruna beamed. "Wonderful."

Touching a low conical thing on the desk, he spoke into it. "Jiggs? Jiggs, are you there?" A butler's face appeared, projected on a screen in midair.

"Sir?"

"Contact the captain of the guard. Tell her that the Galin family will cover Izley Denton's bail, whatever they ask for. If she asks why, tell her... he got a better job offer."

"Yes sir." He blinked out.

"And now..." Filius regarded the two of them. "...what am I to do with you two?"

* * *

*The magical explosion that removed the top two storeys and most of the wizard refuted this, but why spoil a good legend?  
**A lost cause.

Next: Perfect plots prevent pathetic performance!

"Money, money money..."

Haruna...

"...must be funny, dumdum, in a rich man's world..."

...stop dancing with that Monopoly money.

"Author-san, you need to unwind once in a while."

I'm plenty unwound – for once. How you liking it?

"All good, hearty stuff, but where's the world domination?"

Coming, I promise. It's not like I planned this to spiral out of control. ...I shouldn't have said that.

"You haven't planned?"

Haruna, in writing this story, I've found that the best thing to do is to get inside your head and go, but it's not like I can predict it. I was hoping for a romp, you were hoping for a romp. What you did ended up having repercussions I had to learn to deal with on the fly and you ended up pinballing around inside the city. You can still achieve romp escape velocity, but you're either going to have to accept some timeskips to keep to the schedule, or accept you're in an AU and break from the story entirely.

"...oh. Maybe I'll go talk to Chao, see what she can do if we diverge too much. But I do like your work so far."

Thanks, Haruna. Tell me if you find anything.


	8. Chapter 7: Fight and Flight

Chapter 7 – Flight and Fight

The next couple of days were a whirlwind of clandestine meetings in back rooms, little sleep, hand cramp (the first time they saw Haruna clone herself, they were affronted, demanding the real thing. She simply made sure to make them out of sight) and pumping her new patron for every scrap of information on the city's political structure and its place in the world.

The drachma began to pile up as whispers spread behind fluttering fans and into ears of the miracle-worker who (it was rumoured) could offer anything you desired.

And she finally had paper. Her rest-breaks were filled with more drawing, sketching out scenes and even mini-storyboards of the spicier trysts. At the rate she was knocking the scenarios out, she'd surpass those CLAMP harpies in a fortnight.

Melda had turned out to be a treasure. She'd nervously shown Haruna her tentative starts at a Rakan x Nagi story, which they'd refined and expanded upon one inspiration-filled night. Her drawings were (treachery!) even better than Haruna's, though she had to be taught comic staging, panel types and everything else; she was shaping up to be an excellent assistant. An 'idle' suggestion of publication had Melda asking her father about printers, which led to another night spent convincing her father of the potential of a brand-new, untapped market.

It wasn't until she blacked out after a particularly elaborate scene involving the Duke of something-or-other, a lake of chocolate pudding and a school of mermen that she finally realised she had to ease off. She'd done all-nighters, even a double all-nighter when _Octo-Love_ and a school assignment deadline came right after each other, but pushing yourself hard enough that you collapsed into your client's scenario was just _unprofessional_. Plus, the artifact, while it was almost certainly fully fuelled by Negi's prodigious power, seemed to take nibbles of the Ministra's power as well. And the small matter of her not knowing the fate of any of her classmates had really begun to dog her undernourished conscience.

So it was, a week or so after Haruna's arrival in the city, that Filius Galin came to breakfast and found nothing sitting at the table but a note saying 'TAKING DAY OFF. POSSIBLY TWO. PARU-SAMA'.

* * *

"Oh Izley, it's not that bad. _I_ think you look pretty", said Haruna as the pair of them walked away from the house. If there was any sincerity, it was destroyed by the smirk on her face.

"I am a tiger-man. Proud of it, even. So why do I have to be a Siamese cat-man? Do you _know_ what they say about them?"

"Now, now, Izley, you shouldn't disparage your fellow man...cat. I had to make sacrifices too."

When Haruna had snuck into Izley's bedroom that morning clutching a rod with a crystal on top, the dread didn't quite have time to outpace the sleepiness before she stuck it in his hand and said, "Moon Power, Harem _ni nare_!" and he found his black and orange fur transformed into the equivalent of an exotic dancer's fur coat. She then used it herself, turning her hair fiery red, which she supplemented with a pair of fake cat ears.

The clothes she'd conjured hadn't helped dispel the 'exotic dancer' impression. She wore a green wrap dress that opened in the front to show a scandalous amount of leg, a mass of jewelled bracelets and a ruby brooch set in the deep V of her neckline.

"Sacrifices, yeah." Dammit, she looked far too good for her age.

What _he_ was wearing...

...seemed to be straight out of an Old World legend. Gleaming pearl silk vest that went with his creamy fur, loose trousers of the same material and a turban that had a big, tacky green jewel on the front. Fouled by his ears, it kept slipping off his head.

"I haven't had breakfast yet. What was so important that you had to sneak out?"

"Nothing", said Haruna.

"Nothing", repeated Izley.

"Weell, I thought I could use a break. Getting spooged in the face with chocolate is art's way of telling you you need to slow down."

Haruna grinned up at him, _daring_ him to ask.

Izley opened his mouth – then shut it. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction. Instead, he asked her the question that had been on his mind since his forceful transformation.

"...so why me? You could have taken any of the guards along, even that little girl Melda – she would have jumped at the chance. I know we had a deal, and I appreciate the money, but I was pardoned. You don't _need_ me." Why did he sound so petulant? "If it's a bodyguard you need, Filius would guarantee you safe passage to any city, if only to get you out of his life." He adjusted his turban, which had slipped down again.

Haruna sighed. "I leave you alone for a couple of days and you lose all sense of adventure. The main thing is, well, I think you answered your own question. Melda wouldn't really _listen_ without wanting to get into it, and I can't tell anyone else in the house for fear of it reaching the boss's ears. He was a bit too happy to take his share of the money. I need a neutral yet friendly party and... you're it."

Izley narrowed his eyes at Haruna. "Paru, what are you planning?"

She looked left, right, left – then smiled wickedly up at him.

He took to his heels, not even caring where he was going...

"_Come forth!_"

...and ran straight into a wall. At least, it might as well have been one. The hulking giant had appeared out of nowhere – wait, Haruna had her artifact out... oh. That.

"Aniki, lift!" It lifted him up by the scruff of his neck, just far enough that he couldn't touch the ground.

Haruna didn't quite blame him, but she was hungry, and didn't have time for consent. The three of them walked to breakfast.

* * *

Izley, now resigned to his fate, had taken them to the cheapest inn he knew, which nevertheless sold acceptable food.

After breakfast, Haruna told him what she wanted.

"That's all? Just a message to your friends? What was that evil smile for, then?", demanded Izley.

"Well, you're just so much fun to tease", said Haruna, grinning. "I need you because I have to know where my friends _are_ first. That's going to be the hard part. I just have to know whether they're alive or..." She trailed off, suddenly aware of what she was implying.

Shaking off the fell mood, she continued, "You wouldn't happen to know how up-to-date the Guard keeps bounty records, Izley? There might be a clue."

Izley held up a hand. "All right, I get it. We – they – get communiques from the bounty hunter guilds and the major cities' police forces daily. It's not even confidential information. I could have asked the captain if my Telepathia link hadn't been revoked, but I can ask around."

"Thanks, Izley, that's a load off my mind." Some dormant sense of Haruna only then alerted her to the lack of customers. It had been busy, but now it was deserted, save for two burly men in the corner. They were giving her the same feeling of 'I could drop you before you blinked' she got when facing off against Ku Fei.

'At least they waited till after I've had breakfast', she thought. Resolutely _not_ freezing up, she said, "Izley? Does Taoyuan have its own bounty hunters' guild?"

"It's not really a guild, more of a gang-", he began. "Ah. Two gentlemen in the corner? Looks like the Funnelli brothers."

"Any chance they're here for a nice, peaceful breakfast too?"

"Slim. Barrat and Urbell Funnelli take liquid lunches. I can't count how many times I've hauled either of them into the drunk tank for bar brawls. They're probably here for you."

"Which one's which?"

"The uglier, taller one's Urbell. _Don't call them the Barbells_."

Whilst they were talking the two men had got up and approached Haruna and Izley's table. Izley realised he was still disguised as a damn Siamese harem guard, and he dreaded the unsubtle jokes almost as much as the upcoming fight. Still, he was supposed to be a protector, sort of counted as a chaperone, and should _try_ to make a token effort to head them off before it kicked off.

"Hello, gentlemen. Can I help you?", said Izley. He could smell the fumes off them; enough to make them belligerent, not enough to impair their judgement. _Damn_.

""Hello, gentlemen"", repeated the shorter one mockingly. "So fancy. Lose your balls, did you?", said Barrat, sniggering.

There it was.

"My brother and I wish to ask this fine courtesan a question", said Urbell, emphasising every 'fancy' word. "Would you be interested in accommodating the two of us, my lady?"

Haruna made a show of thinking deeply, hands seemingly clasped below the table. "Hmm, I'm not sure I could do the deed with such... unique specimens. Perhaps if you wore a bag over your heads..."

"WHAT?"

"...but, no, I'm afraid I'll have to decline." She smiled sweetly at them.

"You die now, little bitch!", shouted Barrat, raising his fists.

"Wait", said Urbell, holding Barrat at bay. He leaned closer, scarred face gaining many interesting shadows. "I _was_ curious about Paru's Pleasures; I was even thinking of letting you go after we'd had our free ride, but you hurt our feelings. We want compensation, Miss Paru. Or should we say, Miss Haruna Saotome?"

This instantly told Haruna three things. One, a change of hair and clothes was ineffective against experienced bounty hunters. Two, her real identity was out in the criminal community. Finally, any hold Izley had on her was now almost nothing. 'Crap.' Out loud, she said, "I don't suppose I could simply give you a session, pay you the bounty, and we could pretend the whole thing never happened?"

Urbell rubbed his chin. "Or I suppose we could beat you and pretty-boy hollow, then take all your money and the artifact you found, cash in the bounty and use the artifact to do whatever we wanted." Comedically furrowing his brow in thought, he continued, "...wait a second, that means we get _more_. What do you think, Barret?"

"I think we _do_ get more, brother."

"Well, it seems we're in agreement. Hold her." He selected a lightning club from his weapon belt. "I hate to mess up a cutie, but given your artifact you're too dangerous to leave conscious."

Several things happened all at once.

Barret moved to grab Haruna.

The club described an arc towards Haruna's head.

Izley jumped towards Urbell.

Haruna shouted, "_Come forth, Grand Aniki!_"

Momentarily blinded by the sudden cloud of sparkles, the bounty hunters failed to spot two massive hands emerging from it. The giant musclebound golem Haruna had been drawing under the table while they were talking palmed each of their heads like basketballs, lifted them back and conked their heads together with stunning force.

"Aniki, drop!" The gorilla dumped the groaning men on the floor, where they were quickly tied up by some hastily-drawn ropes. She shocked them with the lightning club for good measure. (It had been less than an inch from her face. She'd heard the crackle of the magic... She'd sparred with Sakurazaki, so was no stranger to lightning attacks, but...) Shuddering a bit (...they'd actually tried to hurt her! Seriously! And no handy healer nearby!), Haruna was about to ask Izley something, but her mind kept listing all the ways it could have gone wrong and why was she provoking them when she was an outlaw with few allies in a hostile land... she suddenly felt quite young and alone, and a little freaked out. 'Brain, stop that _right _now. Self-pity won't help.'

Picking himself up from the floor, Izley had spotted the interplay of emotions on Haruna's face, but refrained from saying anything. He could pretty much guess what she was going through anyway. After a few deep breaths, the colour came back to her face and she addressed him in a level voice. "Izley, how do we deal with these idiots? If I understand the bounty law correctly, they didn't announce precisely what they were taking me in for before attacking."

"Actually, they-"

"_They didn't announce it_", she insisted.

"...uh, right, yes. No, they didn't."

"...and thus it was an unprovoked attack after a solicitation was rejected. But I'd have to present myself as a witness. Humph."

Haruna spotted the cook backing away into the kitchen. "Hey! How'd you like to make the biggest tip of your life?"

"Okay?" she said nervously.

Fishing out a thousand-drachma bill from her cleavage, Haruna waved it at the cook. "Tell no-one what you've seen today, and bring me a bottle of your cheapest, nastiest wine. Several bottles. Got that?"

The cook, one eye on the brute and tiger-man both deferring to the crazy courtesan, nodded and dashed into the kitchen.

"I'm going to require your services once more, Izley." The glimmer of a smile on her face brightened to its usual intensity. "How do you feel about having a sister?"

* * *

_"...the terrorists responsible for the destruction of the World Gate are still at large. No demands or reasoning have been given by the group, though several inconsistencies in the evidence have cropped up. Authorities are not ruling out shapeshifters or other third parties."_

_"Local news: In Taoyuan, the infamous Barbell brothers have once more been locked up for harassing citizens while under the influence. Although they were dropped off at the station, tied up with a signed confession, the city guard are still asking for witnesses. The Bounty Hunter's Guild was not available for comment, only stating that they were not responsible for the actions of independent contractors."_

In the bustling market, a tiger-man and his little sister moved through the crowds.

"Ahh, I should have done this in the first place", purred Haruna.

Izley was seriously starting to fear this girl. This... body-suit... she was wearing spelled all kinds of trouble if the technique came out, besides being creepy as hell when she asked him to do up the zip. Not only was she walking around as a completely realistic female copy of himself, it even changed her voice to match. Magical voice-changing was simple, illusion and animation magic could be bound to inanimate objects and made to mimic body movements, but no-one had considered combining the two to do... that. Being recently pardoned himself didn't help his uneasiness – he'd put away several criminals that would love the chance for some payback now he was out of the force. He didn't want to ask Haruna for a disguise, either; she might have said yes. At least he was back to normal. He even had ordinary (conjured) clothes, though the dragon leather jacket and dark glasses were a bit much.

"So, "Katrina", now that you're going to have to flee, do you have a plan?"

"I may, brother of mine. Do you have a way of getting that message out?"

"You have several options. Adventurer's post, a friendly mercenary, or standard post to a couple of big cities, as well as a bribe for an official to look the other way when one of your friends comes calling. You'd have to match or exceed the bounty in the last two cases. No-one likes AP, though."

"Why?"

"It's just what it sounds like – hand your letter to an adventurer and hope it gets through. It might be days, months or even years before they get it. It's only used because it's cheap. The rest take about the same time – maybe two weeks if you wanted to post to Megalomesembria."

"There have to be faster ways. Magical telephone? _Telepathia_ cell network? What about the police communi-whatsits? How do you get those?", asked Haruna.

"It takes a synchronised spell – you have to pair the foundation stones at the site and ship the receiver..." Haruna turned towards him, hope dawning. "Are you thinking what I think you're thinking? Because no. Never. Asking my former colleagues for Bounty Guild info is one thing, but asking the Guard com-mage to send friendly messages to criminals just isn't possible. ...Trying to persuade me with those fake kitty-cat eyes isn't going to work either. Stop it."

'Kat' grinned toothily, entirely unrepentant. "I have to practice somehow. Besides, I like this form; always wanted a cute tail."

They walked on in silence for a bit, passing by the central square and its anachronistic 'television'.

_"...Did you just say Nagi Springfield?"_

'Katrina' whipped her head round in shock at the tinny voice from the square.

_"That's the same name as the "Thousand Master". Could you be related?"_

Haruna walked as quickly and unobtrusively as she could towards the fountain, where on the screen, a red-headed teenage prizefighter was being interviewed. SURPRISE UPSET IN GRANICUS QUALIFYING was headlined below. "Izley! That's him!", she hissed.

"Who?"

"My teacher! He's alive! He's alive, thank goodness." Haruna felt tension she didn't know she'd had drain out of her. If one survived (admittedly the strongest of the Ala Alba) then others had to have, too.

_"...I'm sure it's just a chance resemblance"_, the boy on the screen said. _"So that means the name is, too?"_, said the compiere. _"Yes, just a coincidence."_

Another teen, with dog ears nestled in his shock of black hair, leaned in, having a heated discussion with his partner. They must have cut it a bit, because now 'Nagi' had grabbed the microphone and said, _"He and I share no relation. However, I'll show you a battle that will not shame the name of the strongest man."_ Gesturing dramatically, he continued, _"I'll be waiting for the strongest opponents! Bring them on by the dozen!"_

It cut back to the newsreader._ "Grand words from the pair whom experts are calling the rookie duo of the year in the Granicus Minerva Cup. No-one so young has displayed such power since the days of the Thousand Master..."_

"And _that_ was Kotaru."

"Are you sure? They looked, well, older", said Izley.

"Trust me, I know. Negi-sensei's got... a disguise." She looked about the light crowd in the square, wondering who else had decided to go for her bounty. "Let's get back, I don't know who's watching or listening."

Negi and Kotaru were fine, and now she thought back, she'd heard Chisame shouting, "Damn you, Chachamaru!" just before the forced teleportation scattered them. That probably meant the Love-Love robot was with them as well. Knowing Negi, the purpose for entering the tournament was for something incredibly brave and heroic, a way to get stronger, or both. Also knowing Negi, he'd do whatever it took to get his students back, which, while reassuring, also meant she was still on borrowed time. A different, way more hopeful borrowed time, but still.

"Izley, find me an adventurer's stall. I need a map."

There was planning to be done.

* * *

After a hurried change back to humanity in the Galens' grounds, the requisite apologies to Filius and looking over Melda's roughs for what would be the first volume of Paru Publishing's _RaganNaki Spin!_*, Izley and Haruna sat on a bed in an empty bedroom to discuss tactics. He had been briefly amused to discover that the boy who was tearing through combatants in Granicus' prizefighting arena was her language teacher, and she was effectively truanting from a school trip.

"We'll set aside sending a message to the others for now; Negi-kun, bless his heroic little heart, _will_ search till he's found every last one of us, and since Chachamaru can detect our Ala Alba badges over 500 kilometres away, he'll be good at it. However, I've a once-in-a-lifetime chance for real funds here that I _certainly_ don't want him to discover. As far as I can figure it, we have four options to stretch this out:

One, stay here and make as much money as possible before I'm found. That's the worst option – most boring and I don't want to make it easier on the bounty hunters or the authorities to capture me. Melda's father wouldn't like it either." Haruna traced a line on the map from Taoyuan. "Two: Travel east away from Megalomesembria, getting gigs wherever we find a town or village. Are there villages?"

"A fair few. We might run into your friends, too."

"Hmm. Enjoyable but not the most profitable." She tapped on a city roughly northward of them, in the middle of an island. "Three: Head here for richer pickings in... Al Jamyla?... to set up something more permanent, with the help of some of the diplomats I took for clients. Oh, don't look at me like that, it's not blackmail if they actually offered to pay hush money. And you're not exactly Mister Clean there, either. Is it another untapped market, Izley?"

"I guess. I haven't been there, but it's a bigger city than Taoyuan. There are other cities you could go to."

"I'll consider it. Four: Let others spread it by taking my concept to publishing houses. _Nuh-uh_. This is my one chance to make a heap of drachma and a name for myself, and it'd ruin all the fun if I had to waste time with stuffy, shortsighted, censor-happy _editors_."

"I'm sensing a story there", deadpanned Izley.

"It's nothing. Just... some of the university circle took an exception to certain _completely_ rational and plausible situations", Haruna grumbled. "Soon, though, I will _have_ my four-corner four-way** in print, and there'll be nothing that damn Haraguchi can do about it. Muhahahahaaa!"

Izley remained poker-faced, because there wasn't much you could say to that. He ruthlessly crushed his curiosity at 'four-corner four-way'. Nevertheless, he had to say _something_.

"*cough* What about Melda? Isn't she doing the same thing you just complained about?"

"Doesn't count. _RaganNaki_ is her creation. Besides, Melda is my disciple, and it's only right and proper that I give her a place at my right hand!"

"That, and her father is promoting your harem business and printing both your work."

"Well, yeah."

Haruna studied the map some more, plotting out possible patterns a search might take.

As he added, 'Has almost certainly got blackmail material on key figures of political parties' to his mental danger-to-the-world tally, the mention of her clients and their money brought something to the foreground. Something he should have been keeping track of instead of sulking in his room like a teenager. "Haruna, just how much have you made?"

"I kinda lost count. I _was_ working nonstop for a week, with at least two duplicate mes here and there, and I was charging double rate, so..." – her lips moved as she calculated – "...about ...whoa." Suddenly excited, she scrabbled for a piece of paper to work it out properly. A few minutes of furrowed brows and carrying the three later, she had her answer. Not taking her eyes off the paper, she said, "Izley? How much of a tip was that thousand-drachma bill I gave to the waitress today?"

"Roughly two month's wages for a low-paying job. Why?" At the sight of her shellshocked face, he snarked, "I'm guessing it's slightly more than that, then."

Instead of speaking, she stuffed the paper into her art folder on the nightstand and mutely held up seven fingers.

"So... seven times that?"

"More like... seven figures."

Izley's mouth was suddenly dry. "But that doesn't take into account my, er, damages and..."

"Galin asked for fifty percent of the gross, which is why I doubled the ten thousand fee." Looking round nervously, she leaned in and whispered, "If I pay you the eighth you demanded, _I still have one and a half million drachma_. In _cash_."

She didn't _think_ she'd be swindled – Filius'd been forthcoming and even-handed with her all the way – but she doubted he had forgotten how to multiply. Haruna felt she was fairly genre-savvy. She knew stories; she knew the math to maintain interest. When a protagonist came into such a vast amount of money, you stepped up the pace, something horrible happened to balance it out, or you had them retire and go home. In his place, she'd be doing everything she could in the form of contractual loopholes and supplemental fees to drain the sucke- newcomer dry. If it didn't happen _that_ way, awfulness would come along, sooner or later.

So... If she was writing this, how would she escalate and avoid losing everything to grasping vizers or hordes of violent bounty hunters?

Hypothetical heroine-her would dash downstairs, declare the contract null and void by application of boots to Filius' head, then fly out on her metallic angel wings, Melda's eyes boring into her melting chocolate orbs...*** 'No, that's stupid.'****

Heroine-her would gather everything she wanted to take with her, say her goodbyes to Melda, beg a leave of absence to Filius because of overwork, sketch up a bodysuit and slip out of town to go – where? Without Izley, she wouldn't know...

Izley. _There_ was a problem. What was she to him? And what was he to her?

All debts would soon be discharged. Her identity was already out; he couldn't get her into much more trouble than she already was, barring revealing her location to Negi, and they both knew she could skip town immediately if he turned up. Even if she didn't, the publishing profits were all set to go to an anonymous bank vault administered by Filius, with her and Melda as the trustees once they turned sixteen. She'd won, sort of. And any future summer job her parents proposed could go suck a tentacle.

She didn't think he accepted her enough to fit into 'annoying younger sister' (maybe in another week), and 'if only you were older' was definitely out of the question – he'd need to remove the stick up his behind first.

For her part, she liked messing with him and could rely on him, but wasn't sure he would come with as bodyguard if she asked. Whilst his name had been cleared, he couldn't be hired back to Taoyuan's guard without a demotion. 'Oh. There's that guilt again.' He could get employment in any number of adventuring parties, fund his own mercenary band, or join other city guard companies, but Haruna didn't think he'd go for any of those. Searching her feelings, she found that she wanted him to come along, not for any romantic feeling, just the need for safe company she could trust. She wanted him to want to come along, too. The little imp of her libido also wondered what his perfect scenario would entail and demanded to watch, but she told it to pipe down for the moment.

'Okay, here I go. Humble, serious. Ask him to come along. Deep breaths. ...Ah! The plan, the plan. Can't ask him to come if nothing's decided.'

Glancing over the map, she noted the scale of the world. The coincidence or translation spell that let her understand the people of the city extended to writing, so she could see that Mundus Magica was a little smaller than Earth. A little less than three weeks remained before their holidays ended; assuming Negi wanted to collect everyone, defeat Fate and return home before they were missed (and she wouldn't put it past him), they could just about hit every major town on Taoyuan's continent, travel on one of those nifty airships to Al Jamyla, spread the word of yaoi and perversion there (hmm, maybe she could give out lightning-drawn manga of the finished scenarios to patrons), then hop across the equator to... Ostia? No, that'd be where the finals of the Nagi cup were held, Izley having told her what Granicus' fighting tournament was the qualifying event for...

That settled it. She needed her source of exposition along. An overlord without her minion was merely a disgruntled criminal with delusions of grandeur.

It would be just like her teacher to get to the final, too. And it'd make a good rallying point for the rest of the class, meaning that for maximum fun, she'd have to skip it till the last minute. Damn. At least the Ostia festival gave her a definitive deadline for her to be 'found'.

The other three cities near to Al Jamyla, Moer, Antigone and Elfanbaft, didn't look any different from the former, but they were right in the middle of likely search paths east from Granicus.

There was one place they might not search – Hellas, capital of the Helladin empire. It was closer to the north pole of the map than Taoyuan was to the south pole; she'd have to fly nearly pole-to-pole to reach it. Good for avoiding a search party, bad for arriving in time to do anything. On the third hand, capital city of the largest empire in Mundus Magica. There would be no better place to lay the global foundations for Paru Publications.

Well, who's to say she couldn't go straight there? If she was ever run out of a city, maybe. But the distances... she'd need fast transport. 'WAIT! _Best_ idea _ever_! Errgh, have to ask Izley what he wants first. Put on your serious face. Modest, modest.'

"Izley? I'm going to leave soon", said Haruna. She examined his face for any reaction. He showed no surprise, simply quiet acceptance. "Probably tomorrow or the day after, I'll say my goodbyes to Melda and Filius and set off for Al Jamyla. And I want, no, I'd _like_ you to come with me as my bodyguard again."

_That_ surprised him, but only briefly. Hmm. Perhaps he wasn't as unwilling as she'd imagined.

"It's only temporary, you know. Just until I get some proper mi- employees, then I will drop you wherever you wish."

"Okay," said Izley.

"Oh! Er, good! But if you don't mind me asking – why?"

"Because you're a 14-year-old schoolgirl who's being chased by bounty hunters. Because you are a terrifying young woman who is breaking as many physical laws at the same time she violates legal statutes. Because if I don't keep you in some form of check, it could be so much worse for the world."

Haruna was puzzled and vaguely insulted. Where had this come from? She wasn't that much of a threat. "Come on, Izley, you know me..."

"Are you or are you not planning on taking over some percentage of the world?"

"Well..."

"ARE YOU?"

She cringed. This was dangerously close to a few of her greater chewings-out in the teacher's office. "...just a little bit."

"Young lady..."

That did it. Something stressed and weakened by the rollercoaster of the day snapped. _No-one_ called her a young lady unless they were convinced they were in the right about something. Now here he was, acting like he had the right to boss her about, simply because he was older than her. "_Adeat!_"

Izley's eyes widened, but he held his ground. "What are you doing! We're indoors!"

"What do I care? If you're convinced I'm a supervillain, then a supervillain's life for me. Start running." Pen touched pad... but did not move.

His eyes flicked to the still pen. "Tell me something. Why did _you_ want me to come with you?"

Her hair hung down with her head, seemingly examining the inkblot on the pad where the pen rested. "...I trusted you." Louder, "_I trusted you!_ I thought you had my back, Izley!", shouted Haruna. "I... miss my friends. And I'm not so good at being alone." Her voice was hoarse. She wasn't crying. She wasn't. "I wanted someone who'll stick by me, not turn me in because I'm a little girl playing at being a grownup. I wanted an extra pair of eyes, a back to lean on when we're surrounded and a sword arm that won't disappear after an hour. I thought you could be that when you helped with the Barbells, and I thought you might want to be."

Eyes screwed shut, willing the tears not to come, she continued, "So I let my guard down, and _believed_ that you might become a friend in time if you tagged along. Stupid of me, I know."

She opened her eyes once more. The smile on her face was nowhere to be seen. "No, it's clear you don't trust me. And I admit I might not have given you much reason to trust in me. So I'll make a pledge, here and now: I promise to restrain my activities to what I can accomplish with my artifact or money. I will not blackmail or coerce any high-ranking government official into giving me lands or deeds. I will not terrorise people without cause. I will _try_ not to break any physical laws." The smile reappeared at the last line, somewhat sardonic, but present all the same. "That's all the concessions you're going to get, Izley." Haruna dismissed her artifact and offered her hand across the gap between the beds where they were sitting. "Now, are you coming with me, or what?"

His tentative handshake was better than any stammered apology. "Thanks Izley."

He coughed to break the spell. "Shall I book the tickets today? We still have time."

Her earlier idea emerged from the drama gloom and waved a shiny metallic fin. "No, no. I have a way better idea."

Izley was learning to identify the smiles of his... partner? Friend? Employer? Whatever. This smile was simple glee.

"Is there a shipyard in Taoyuan?", asked Haruna. "Because I have **all** the pocket money."

* * *

*Hotheaded boy demands to fight the champion musclebound martial arts master he's always worshipped, master is agog at boy's sparkly prettiness and loses because he's so distracted, boy is aghast at his hero losing so easily and offers to make it up to him by becoming his _extremely_ devoted disciple.

**Insert peg 1P into slot 2M, 2P into 3M, 3P into 4M, then insert 4P into slot 1M. Haruna had been inspired by her father assembling a set of drawers.

***14-year-old fangirl.

****...Thankfully tempered by Nodoka and Yue's reluctant editing.

Next: Leaving!

"Dear Father Christmas, this time round-"

-you're getting the same airship. Sorry Haruna. Recorded history is set. People notice if their transport turns into an aircraft carrier.

"But if we'd had the Great Super-Paru... people wouldn't have, y'know, died."

You named it? Chickens, hatch, et cetera. Nothing I can do. The protagonist has to do what they've been seen to have done in the original timeline. As it is, I'm going to have to wiggle around a bit to wedge in that report about the Hellas Empire that came out. Besides, they got better.

"What was the deal with pulling the drama tag? I'm not that gloomy."

I didn't pull it so much as jiggle it around in the slot. You had a tough day, I think it's reasonable you'd blow up. I touched on the trust issues and wanting to be treated like a grown-up in the first chapter. Helps humanise you too.

"Hmph. Keep it out of my romp, would you?"

Yeah, yeah. Let me address the readers?

"'Kay. Whistle when you need me."

It's been over a year since I last updated. I have many excuses, but that's all they are – excuses. I have to finish this story. That's all. I pledge to finish by the end of the year. In the meantime, you get a chapter to tide you over.


End file.
